Tenterhooks | Page 2

turns eventually on the Mitchells.
The Ottleys lived in a concise white flat at Knightsbridge. Bruce's
father had some time ago left him a good income on certain conditions;
one was that he was not to leave the Foreign Office before he was fifty.
One afternoon Edith was talking to the telephone in a voice of agonised
entreaty that would have melted the hardest of hearts, but did not seem
to have much effect on the Exchange, which, evidently, was not
responsive to pathos that day.
'Oh! Exchange, why are you ringing off? Please try again.... Do I want
any number? Yes, I do want any number, of course, or why should I
ring up?... I want 6375 Gerrard.'
Here Archie interposed.
'Mother, can I have your long buttonhook?'
'No, Archie, you can't just now, dear.... Go away Archie.... Yes, I said
6375 Gerrard. Only 6375 Gerrard!... Are you there? Oh, don't keep on

asking me if I've got them!... No, they haven't answered.... Are you
6375?... Oh--wrong number--sorry.... 6375 Gerrard? Only six--are you
there?... Not 6375 Gerrard?... Are you anyone else?... Oh, is it you,
Vincy?... I want to tell you--'
'Mother, can I have your long buttonhook?'
Here Bruce came in. Edith rang off. Archie disappeared.
'It's really rather wonderful, Edith, what that Sandow exerciser has done
for me! You laughed at me at first, but I've improved marvellously.'
Bruce was walking about doing very mild gymnastics, and occasionally
hitting himself on the left arm with the right fist.' Look at my
muscle--look at it--and all in such a short time!'
'Wonderful!' said Edith.
'The reason I know what an extraordinary effect these few days have
had on me is something I have just done which I couldn't have done
before. Of course I'm naturally a very powerful man, and only need a
little--'
'What have you done?'
'Why--you know that great ridiculous old wooden chest that your awful
Aunt Matilda sent you for your birthday--absurd present I call it--mere
lumber.'
'Yes?'
'When it came I could barely push it from one side of the room to the
other. Now I've lifted it from your room to the box-room. Quite easily.
Pretty good, isn't it?'
'Yes, of course it's very good for you to do all these exercises; no doubt
it's capital.... Er--you know I've had all the things taken out of the chest
since you tried it before, don't you?'

'Things--what things? I didn't know there was anything in it.'
'Only a silver tea-service, and a couple of salvers,' said Edith, in a low
voice....
...He calmed down fairly soon and said: 'Edith, I have some news for
you. You know the Mitchells?'
'Do I know the Mitchells? Mitchell, your hero in your office, that you're
always being offended with--at least I know the Mitchells by name. I
ought to.'
'Well, what do you think they've done? They've asked us to dinner.'
'Have they? Fancy!'
'Yes, and what I thought was so particularly jolly of him was that it was
a verbal invitation. Mitchell said to me, just like this, 'Ottley, old chap,
are you doing anything on Sunday evening?''
Here Archie came to the door and said, 'Mother, can I have your long
buttonhook?'
Edith shook her head and frowned.
''Ottley, old chap,'' continued Bruce, ''are you and your wife doing
anything on Sunday? If not, I do wish you would waive ceremony and
come and dine with us. Would Mrs Ottley excuse a verbal invitation,
do you think?' I said, 'Well, Mitchell, as a matter of fact I don't believe
we have got anything on. Yes, old boy, we shall be delighted.' I
accepted, you see. I accepted straight out. When you're treated in a
friendly way, I always say why be unfriendly? And Mrs Mitchell is a
charming little woman--I'm sure you'd like her. It seems she's been
dying to know you.'
'Fancy! I wonder she's still alive, then, because you and Mitchell have
known each other for eight years, and I've never met her yet.'
'Well, you will now. Let bygones be bygones. They live in Hamilton

Place.'
'Oh yes....Park Lane?'
'I told you he was doing very well, and his wife has private means.'
'Mother,' Archie began again, like a litany, 'can I have your long
buttonhook? I know where it is.'
'No, Archie, certainly not; you can't fasten laced boots with a
buttonhook.... Well, that will be fun, Bruce.'
'I believe they're going to have games after dinner,' said Bruce. 'All
very jolly--musical crambo--that sort of thing.... What shall you wear,
Edith?'
'Mother, do let me have your long buttonhook. I want it. It isn't for my
boots.'
'Certainly not. What a nuisance you are! Do go away.... I think I shall
wear my salmon-coloured dress with the sort of mayonnaise- coloured
sash.... (No,