Tales of the Road | Page 7

to my sto'. But the more they laughed, suh,
the more necessary they made the addition. If you can only get people
to talking about you, you will thrive. Believe me in this, suh: If they
say something good about you, that is good; if they say something bad
about you, that is better--it spreads faster. Those fool merchants did not
know, suh, that they were helping my business every time that they told
about how many hats I had bought, until one day a fellow, when they
were laughing about me, said: "Well, if that's the case I'll buy my hat
from him; I like, anyway, to patronize the man who carries a good
stock." Now you just come back and see how empty my addition is.'
"I went back into my addition and found that the Colonel's hats were
nearly all gone. He had actually sold--and out of his little shanty-- more
of my goods than any other customer I had. When I started to have my
trunks unloaded the Colonel said to me: 'Now just hol' on there; that's
entirely unnecessary. The last ones sold so well, you just duplicate my
last bill, except that you leave out the poah hats. Come, let's go up to
my house and have a julep and rest a while.'"

Although a man's friends will not buy from him if he does not carry the
goods, he will yet get their patronage over the other fellow if he has the
right stock. Here's where a man's personality and adaptability are his
stock in trade when he is on the road; and the good salesman gets the
business over his competitor's head just by being able to turn the mood
of the merchant he meets. The more moods he can turn, the larger his
salary.
One of my musician road friends once told me how he sold a bill to a
well-known old crank, now dead, in the state of Montana.
"When I used to work at the bench, years ago," said he, as we sat in the
smoker, "evenings when I was free, for relaxation, I studied music. Our
shop boys organized a brass band. I played the trombone, and learned
to do so fairly well. I never thought then that my music would fatten
my pocket-book; but since I have been on the road it has served me a
good turn more than once--it has sold me many a bill.
"You've heard of the 'Wild Irishman of Chinook,' haven't you?"
"Old Larry, the crank?" said I.
"Yes, old Larry, the great."
[Illustration: "Larry let business drop entirely and danced a jig."]
"Well, sir, the first evening I ever went into Larry's store, I hadn't been
in a minute until he said to me: 'Oi'm all full up; Oi've got plinty of it, I
doon't give a dom pwhat ye're silling.'
"I paid no attention to him, as I had heard of him; instead of going out I
bought a cigar and sat down by the stove. Although a man may not
wish to buy anything from you, you know, he is always willing to sell
you something, even if it is only a cigar. I've caught many a merchant's
ear by buying something of him. My specialty is bone collar
buttons--they come cheap. I'll bet that I bought a peck of them the first
time I made a trip through this country.

"I had not been sitting by the stove long until I noticed, in a show case,
a trombone. I asked Larry to please let me see it. 'Oi'll lit ye say the
insthrumint,' said he, 'but pwhat's the good of it? Ye can't play the
thromboon, can ye? Oi'm the only mon in this berg that can bloo that
hairn. Oi'm a mimber of the bhrass band.'
"I took the horn and, as I ran the scale a few times, Larry's eyes began
to dance. He wouldn't wait on the customer who came in. The
instrument was a good one. I made 'Pratties and fishes are very foine
dishes for Saint Pathrick in the mairnin'' fairly ring. A big crowd came
in. Larry let business drop entirely and danced a jig. He kept me
playing for an hour, always something 'by special rayquist'--'Molly
Dairlint,' 'Moggie Moorphy's Hoom' and everything he could think of.
Finally he asked me for 'Hairts Booed Doon.'
"As I played 'The Heart Bowed Down,' tears came to the old Irishman's
eyes. When I saw these, I played yet better; this piece was one of my
own favorites. I felt a little peculiar myself. This air had made a bond
between us. When I finished, the old man said to me: 'Thank ye, thank
ye, sor, with all my hairt! That's enoof. Let me put the hairn