Susan Clegg and a Man in the House | Page 2

about his goin' to
town the other day an' buyin' a book on how to make your hair grow by
pullin' it out as fast as it comes in, an' then gettin' on the train, an' gettin'
to readin' on to how to make your eyebrows grow by pullin' them out,
too, an' not noticin' that they'd unhooked his car an' left it behind, until
it got too dark to read any further--"
"Why, what--" cried Mrs. Lathrop, who was the best of listeners, and
never interjectional except under the highest possible pressure of
curiosity.
"There was n't nothin' for him to do except to put his thumb in at the
place where the eyebrows was, an' get down out of the car, an' then she
told me, would you believe that with her an' John Bunyan in their
second hour of chasin' around like a pair of crazy cockroaches because
he was n't on the city train when he said he'd come, he very calmly
went up to a hotel an' took a room for the night? An' she says that ain't
the worst of it whatever you may think, for he was so interested in the
book that he wanted to keep right on readin', an' as the light was too
high an' he had n't no way to lower it, he just highered himself by
puttin' a rockin'-chair (yes, Mrs. Lathrop, a rockin'-chair!) on the center
table, an' there he sit rockin' an' readin' until he felt to go to bed. She
says, would n't that drive a good wife right out beside her own mind?
To think of a man like Mr. Fisher rockin' away all night on top of a
table an' never even gettin' a scare. Why, she says you know an' I know
that if he'd been the husband of a poor widow or the only father of a
deserving family, of course he'd have rocked off an' goodness knows
what, but bein' as he was her husband with a nice life insurance an'
John Bunyan wild to go to college, he needs must strike the one rocker
in the world as is hung true, an' land safe an' sound in her sorrowin'
arms the next mornin'! Oh my, but she says, the shock she got! They

was so sure that somethin' had happened to him that she an' John had
planned a little picnic trip to the city to leave word with the police first
an' visit the Zoölogical Gardens after. Well, she says, maybe you can
judge of their feelin's when they was waitin' all smiles an' sunshine for
their train, with a nice lunch done up under John's arm, an' he got down
from the other train without no preparation a tall. She said she done all
she could under the circumstances, for she burst out cryin' in spite of
herself, an' cryin' is somethin' as always fits in handy anywhere, an'
then she says they had nothin' in the wide world to do but to go home
an' explain away the hard-boiled eggs for dinner the best they could.
She says she hopes the Lord'll forgive her for He knows better than she
ever will what she ever done to have Mr. Fisher awarded to her as her
just and lawful punishment these last five and twenty years; an', she
says, will you only think how awful easy, as long as he got on the table
of his own free will an' without her even puttin' him up to it, it would
have been for him to of rocked off an' goodness knows what. She says
she is a Christian, an' she don't wish even her husband any ill wind, but
she did frighten me, Mrs. Lathrop, an' I wanted to speak out frank an'
open to you about it because a man in the house is a man in the house,
an' I want to take men into very careful consideration before I go a step
further towards lettin one have the right to darken my doors whenever
he comes home to bed an' board--"
Mrs. Lathrop quite jumped in her chair at this startling finale to her
neighbor's talk and her little black eyes gleamed brightly.
"Bed and bo--" she cried.
"He'll have father's room, if I take him, of course," said Susan, "but I
ain't sure yet that I'll take him. You know all I stood with father, Mrs.
Lathrop, an' I don't really know as I can stand any more sad memories
connected with that room. You know how it was with Jathrop yourself,
too, an' how happy and peaceful life has been since he lit out, an' I ain't
sure that--My heavens alive! I forgot to tell you that Mr. Dill thought
he saw Jathrop