Supplemental Nights to The Book of the Thousand and One Nights | Page 7

from it; whereby he knew that the Cook adulterated his meat
with horseflesh. When he discovered this default, he rejoiced therein and washing his
hands, bowed his head and went out; and when the Kitchener saw that he went and gave
him naught, he cried out, saying, "Stay, O pest, O burglar!" So the Larrikin stopped and
said to him, "Dost thou cry out upon me and call to me with these words, O cornute?"
Whereat the Cook was angry and coming down from the shop, cried, "What meanest thou
by thy speech, O low fellow, thou that devourest meat and millet and bread and kitchen
and goest forth with ‘the Peace[FN#13] be on thee!' as it were the thing had not been, and
payest down naught for it?" Quoth the Lackpenny, "Thou liest, O accursed son of a
cuckold!" Whereupon the Cook cried out and laying hold of his debtor's collar, said, "O
Moslems, this fellow is my first customer[FN#14] this day and he hath eaten my food and
given me naught." So the folk gathered about them and blamed the Ne'er-do-well and
said to him, "Give him the price of that which thou hast eaten." Quoth he, "I gave him a
dirham before I entered the shop;" and quoth the Cook, "Be everything I sell this day
forbidden to me, if he gave me so much as the name of a coin! By Allah, he gave me
naught but ate my food and went out and would have made off, without aught said."
Answered the Larrikin, "I gave thee a dirham," and he reviled the Kitchener, who
returned his abuse; whereupon he dealt him a buffet and they gripped and grappled and
throttled each other. When the folk saw them fighting, they came up to them and asked
them, "What is this strife between you and no cause for it?" and the Lackpenny answered,
"Ay, by Allah, but there is a cause for it, and the cause hath a tail!" Whereupon, cried the
Cook, "Yea, by Allah, now thou mindest me of thyself and thy dirham! Yes, he gave me
a dirham and but a quarter of the coin is spent. Come back and take the rest of the price
of thy dirham." For he understood what was to do, at the mention of the tail; "and I, O my
brother" (added Abu al-Hasan), "my story hath a cause, which I will tell thee." The
Caliph laughed at his speech and said, "By Allah, this is none other than a pleasant tale!
Tell me thy story and the cause." Replied the host, "With love and goodly gree! Know, O
my lord, that my name is Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a and that my father died and left me
abundant wealth of which I made two parts. One I laid up and with the other I betook
myself to enjoying the pleasures of friendship and conviviality and consorting with
intimates and boon-companions and with the sons of the merchants, nor did I leave one
but I caroused with him and he with me, and I lavished all my money on comrades and
good cheer, till there remained with me naught;[FN#15] whereupon I betook myself to
the friends and fellow-topers upon whom I had wasted my wealth, so perhaps they might
provide for my case; but, when I visited them and went round about to them all, I found
no vantage in one of them, nor would any so much as break a bittock of bread in my face.
So I wept for myself and repairing to my mother, complained to her of my case. Quoth
she:--‘Such are friends; an thou have aught, they frequent thee and devour thee, but, an
thou have naught, they cast thee off and chase thee away.' then I brought out the other
half of my money and bound myself to an oath that I would never entertain any save one
single night, after which I would never again salute him nor notice him; hence my saying
to thee:--‘Far be it, alas! that what is past should again come to pass, for I will never
again company with thee after this night.'" when the Commander of the Faithful heard
this, he laughed a loud laugh and said, "By Allah, O my brother, thou art indeed excused
in this matter, now that I know the cause and that the cause hath a tail. Nevertheless,
Inshallah, I will not sever myself from thee." replied Abu al- Hasan, "O my guest, did I

not say to thee, ‘Far be it, alas! that what is past should again come to pass? For indeed I
will never again foregather with any!'" then the Caliph rose and the host set before him a
dish of roast goose and a bannock of first- bread[FN#16] and