Strife and Peace | Page 5

great desire to approach her more
nearly, to be useful to her, to deserve, and to win her esteem--it seemed
to me that I should thereby become somewhat greater, or at least better;
and as I was informed that she sought for a clever and experienced
steward for her sorely decayed estate, I offered myself as such, in all
modesty, or rather without any; and when accepted, I felt an almost
childish joy, and set off immediately to her estate, that I might make

myself at home there, and have everything in readiness to receive her."
Thus much for Harald, now for Susanna.
Barbara Susanna Björk was not handsome, could not be even called
pretty (for that, she was too large and strong), but she was
good-looking. The blue eyes looked so honestly and openly into the
world; the round and full face testified health, kindness, and good
spirits; and when Susanna was merry, when the rosy lips opened
themselves for a hearty laugh, it made any one right glad only to look
at her. But true is it, that she was very often in an ill humour, and then
she did not look at all charming. She was a tall, well-made girl, too
powerful in movement ever to be called graceful, and her whole being
betrayed a certain want of refinement.
Poor child! how could she have obtained this in the home abounding in
disorder, poverty, and vanity, in which the greater part of her life had
been passed.
Her father was the Burgomaster of Uddevalla; her mother died in the
infancy of her daughter. Soon afterwards an aunt came into the house,
who troubled herself only about the housekeeping and her
coffee-drinking acquaintance, left her brother himself to seek for his
pleasures at the club, and the child to take care of herself. The
education of the little Susanna consisted in this, that she learned of
necessity to read, and that when she was naughty they said to her, "Is
Barbra there again? Fie, for shame, Barbra! Get out, Barbra!" and when
she was good again, it was, "See now, Sanna is here again! Welcome,
sweet Sanna!" A method which certainly was not without its good
points, if it had only been wisely applied. But often was the little girl
talked to as "Barbra" when there was no occasion for it, and this had
often the effect of calling forth the said personage. In the mean time,
she was accustomed as a child to go out as Barbra, and to come in
again as Sanna, and this gave her early an idea of the two natures which
existed in her, as they exist in every person. This idea attained to
perfect clearness in Susanna's religious instruction,--the only
instruction which poor Susanna ever had. But how infinitely rich is
such instruction for an ingenuous mind, when it is instilled by a good

teacher. Susanna was fortunate enough to have such a one, and she now
became acquainted in Barbra with the earthly demon which should be
overcome in Sanna, the child of heaven, which makes free and
enlightens; and from this time there began between Barbra and Sanna
an open strife, which daily occurred, and in which the latter, for the
most part, got the upper hand, if Susanna was not too suddenly
surprised by a naturally proud and violent temper.
When Susanna had attained her twelfth year her father married a
second time, but became a second time a widower, after his wife had
presented him with a daughter. Two months after this he died also.
Near relations took charge of the orphan children. In this new home
Susanna learned to--bear hardships; for there, as she was strong and tall,
and besides that made herself useful, and was kind-hearted, they made
her soon the servant of the whole house. The daughters of the family
said that she was fit for nothing else, for she could learn nothing, and
had such unrefined manners; and besides that, she had been taken out
of charity; she had nothing, and so on: all which they made her feel
many a time in no gentle manner, and over which Susanna shed many
bitter tears both of pain and anger. One mouth, however, there was
which never addressed to Susanna other tones than those of affectionate
love, and this was the mouth of the little sister, the little golden-haired
Hulda. She had found in Susanna's arms her cradle, and in her care that
of the tenderest mother. For from Hulda's birth Susanna had taken the
little forlorn one to herself, and never had loved a young mother her
first-born child more warmly or more deeply than Susanna loved her
little Hulda, who also, under her care, became the loveliest and the
most amiable child that ever