Stray Thoughts for Girls | Page 4

read." Now, what mental result, what benefit to the world, will
result from an ordinary woman's reading, which can, in any way, be
comparable to the value of a woman who diffuses a home-atmosphere,
and is always "at leisure from herself"? You know that I care very
much for your reading--you will have plenty to do if you read all the
books I have begged you to study--but if it gave your mother pleasure
for you to be at the stupidest garden-party, I should think you were
wasting your time terribly if you spent it over a book instead. Some
people think ordinary society, and small talk, beneath them:--well! do
not let the talk be smaller than you can help, but remember Goulburn's
warning, "Despise not little crosses, for they have been to many a saved
soul an excellent discipline of humility."
But to come at last to Solomon's ideal--what is our first impression of
her? Surely it is strength, and we probably feel her strong-minded, and
rather a "managing woman"--and, as a rule, these are not loved. I feel
that she wants some sorrow to humanize her--she would hardly be sorry
for less prosperous, less sensible people: the modern feeling of, "the

pity of it, Iago, the pity of it!" has never gone home to her; she is not
like Ruskin's "gentleman" who has tears always in his eyes, in spite of
the smile on his lips; she is not "quick to perceive the want" in the
many lives, which are empty or crippled, though, perhaps, seemingly
prosperous: things turn out well with her, and she deserves it, so the
sight of her would bring home a sense of undeservingness to the less
fortunate; she cannot speak so as to be "understanded of" them; she is
not one of those who have learnt that "_avoir beaucoup souffert c'est
comme ceux qui savent beaucoup de langues, avoir appris à tout
comprendre, et à se fairs comprendre de tous_." But the virtues
Solomon describes need not result in this type, which is antagonistic to
us; extremes meet, and it is the exaggeration of a very lovable type--the
woman who gives you the feeling of rest and protection and strong
motherliness, who is as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.
"The meekness and gentleness of Christ" is translated by Matthew
Arnold as the "sweet reasonableness," and this makes a very lovable
woman. Sweet unreasonableness makes a more taking one, but not a
keeping one. Butterfly women have more fascinating ways, but
Spring-time comes to an end--the day will come for all women when
others will come to them to be ministered to, to be rested and soothed
and raised. It is sad to watch many who have the faded pretty ways
which once was all that was required of them, and who, in middle life,
cannot understand why their belongings find them so inadequate! Long
ago, Swift warned girls against making nets instead of cages, but they
have not all learnt wisdom yet. And the main point is, not how you can
get, or give, most amusement, but how you can give most comfort; and
no one goes to a weak person for that. There are few things certain in
life, but one of these few is, that others will come to each one of us, in
doubt, in sorrow, in pain, in ignorance, and that, through negligence
and ignorance of ours, they may go away uncomforted, unhelped,
untaught, and this, though each one of us has it in her power to become,
through God's grace, one of those Queens of Consolation of whom
Dante spoke.
I think the Virtuous Woman ought to be on her guard against hardness:
it is her temptation, naturally, as it was that of the Elder Brother,--but
love and humility can make even strength lovable. And for those who

are in no danger of being too like the Virtuous Woman, but who are
still struggling out of a lower life, I am quite sure that weakness is the
rock ahead. It must be so for nearly all women: their feelings are keener
and sooner developed than those of men, and they are less trained in
intellect and self-control. Their chief value lies in intuition and impulse,
and their chief danger also. You will never be the "Virtuous Woman" if
you are self-indulgent in novels which dwell on feelings, in daydreams,
in foolish friendships, which only bring out the emotional side of your
nature, instead of strengthening you to do what is right, and widening
your sensible interests in life. There is but one certain protection
against this temptation, and we find it in Proverbs xxxi.; I mean,
industry at home.
Industry is a leading feature of Solomon's ideal, and nothing but plenty
to do can