Stories of Comedy | Page 7

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an atom of iron to the mystic law that claims its homage
in the north. This is one refinement of science upon another. But the
beautiful simplicity of Barny O'Reirdon's philosophy cannot be too
much admired,--to follow the ship that is going to the same place. Is
not this navigation made easy?

But Barny, like many a great man before him, seemed not to be aware
of how much credit he was entitled to for his invention, for he did not
divulge to his companions the originality of his proceeding; he wished
them to believe he was only proceeding in the commonplace manner,
and had no ambition to be distinguished as the happy projector of so
simple a practice.
For this purpose he went to windward of the ship and then fell off again,
allowing her to pass him, as he did not wish even those on board the
ship to suppose he was following in their wake; for Barny, like all
people that are quite full of one scheme, and fancy everybody is
watching them, dreaded lest any one should fathom his motives. All
that day Barny held on the same course as his leader, keeping at a
respectful distance, however, "for fear 'twould look like dodging her,"
as he said to himself; but as night closed in, so closed in Barny with the
ship, and kept a sharp lookout that she should not give him the slip. The
next morning dawned, and found the hooker and ship companions still;
and thus matters proceeded for four days, during which entire time they
had not seen land since their first losing sight of it, although the
weather was clear.
"By my sowl," thought Barny, "the channel must be mighty wide in
these parts, and for the last day or so we've been goin' purty free with a
flowing sheet, and I wondher we aren't closin' in wid the shore by this
time; or maybe it's farther off than I thought it was." His companions,
too, began to question Barny on the subject, but to their queries he
presented an impenetrable front of composure, and said "it was always
the best plan to keep a good bowld offin'." In two days more, however,
the weather began to be sensibly warmer, and Barny and his
companions remarked that it was "goin' to be the finest sayson--God
bless it--that ever kem out o' the skies for many a long year, and maybe
it's the whate would not be beautiful, and a great dale of it."
It was at the end of a week that the ship which Barny had hitherto kept
ahead of him showed symptoms of bearing down upon him, as he
thought, and, sure enough, she did; and Barny began to conjecture what
the deuce the ship could want with him, and commenced inventing

answers to the questions he thought it possible might be put to him in
case the ship spoke him. He was soon put out of suspense by being
hailed and ordered to run under her lee, and the captain, looking over
the quarter, asked Barny where he was going.
"Faith then, I'm goin' an my business," said Barny.
"But where?" said the captain.
"Why, sure, an' it's no matther where a poor man like me id be goin',"
said Barny.
"Only I'm curious to know what the deuce you've been following my
ship for, the last week."
"Follyin' your ship! Why, thin, blur-an-agers, do you think it's follyin'
yiz I am?"
"It's very like it," said the captain.
"Why, did two people niver thravel the same road before?"
"I don't say they didn't; but there's a great difference between a ship of
seven hundred tons and a hooker."
"O, as for that matther," said Barny, "the same high-road sarves a coach
and four and a lowback car, the thravellin' tinker an' a lord a'
horseback."
"That's very true," said the captain, "but the cases are not the same,
Paddy, and I can't conceive what the devil brings you here."
"And who ax'd you to consayve anything about it?" asked Barny,
somewhat sturdily.
"D--n me, if I can imagine what you're about, my fine fellow," said the
captain; "and my own notion is, that you don't know where the d--l
you're going yourself."

"O baithershin!" said Barny, with a laugh of derision.
"Why then do you object to tell?" said the captain.
"Arrah sure, captain, an' don't you know that sometimes vessels is
bound to sail under saycret ordhers?" said Barny, endeavoring to foil
the question by badinage.
There was a universal laugh from the deck of the ship, at the idea of a
fishing-boat sailing under secret orders; for, by this time, the whole
broadside of the vessel was crowded with grinning mouths and
wondering eyes at Barny and his
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