Stories by American Authors, Volume 5 | Page 7

accept the goods of the gods?
It is not my fault, after all, if I pass for a good fellow. Why not admit
that practically, mechanically--as I may say--maritally, I may be a good
fellow? I warrant myself kind. I should never beat my wife; I don't
think I should even contradict her. Assume that her fortune has the
proper number of zeros and that she herself is one of them, and I can
even imagine her adoring me. I really think this is my only way.
Curiously, as I look back upon my brief career, it all seems to tend to
this consummation. It has its graceful curves and crooks, indeed, and
here and there a passionate tangent; but on the whole, if I were to
unfold it here _à la_ Hogarth, what better legend could I scrawl beneath
the series of pictures than So-and-So's Progress to a Mercenary
Marriage?
Coming events do what we all know with their shadows. My noble fate
is, perhaps, not far off. I already feel throughout my person a
magnificent languor--as from the possession of many dollars. Or is it
simply my sense of well-being in this perfectly appointed house? Is it
simply the contact of the highest civilization I have known? At all

events, the place is of velvet, and my only complaint of Mr. Sloane is
that, instead of an old widower, he's not an old widow (or a young
maid), so that I might marry him, survive him, and dwell forever in this
rich and mellow home. As I write here, at my bedroom table, I have
only to stretch out an arm and raise the window-curtain to see the
thick-planted garden budding and breathing and growing in the silvery
silence. Far above in the liquid darkness rolls the brilliant ball of the
moon; beneath, in its light, lies the lake, in murmuring, troubled sleep;
round about, the mountains, looking strange and blanched, seem to bare
their heads and undrape their shoulders. So much for midnight.
To-morrow the scene will be lovely with the beauty of day. Under one
aspect or another I have it always before me. At the end of the garden is
moored a boat, in which Theodore and I have indulged in an immense
deal of irregular navigation. What lovely landward coves and
bays--what alder-smothered creeks--what lily-sheeted pools--what
sheer steep hillsides, making the water dark and quiet where they hang.
I confess that in these excursions Theodore looks after the boat and I
after the scenery. Mr. Sloane avoids the water--on account of the
dampness, he says; because he's afraid of drowning, I suspect.
22d.--Theodore is right. The bonhomme has taken me into his favor. I
protest I don't see how he was to escape it. _Je l'ai bien soigné_, as they
say in Paris. I don't blush for it. In one coin or another I must repay his
hospitality--which is certainly very liberal. Theodore dots his _i_'s,
crosses his _t_'s, verifies his quotations; while I set traps for that
famous "curiosity." This speaks vastly well for my powers. He pretends
to be surprised at nothing, and to possess in perfection--poor, pitiable
old fop--the art of keeping his countenance; but repeatedly, I know, I
have made him stare. As for his corruption, which I spoke of above, it's
a very pretty piece of wickedness, but it strikes me as a purely
intellectual matter. I imagine him never to have had any real senses. He
may have been unclean; morally, he's not very tidy now; but he never
can have been what the French call a viveur. He's too delicate, he's of a
feminine turn; and what woman was ever a _viveur_? He likes to sit in
his chair and read scandal, talk scandal, make scandal, so far as he may
without catching a cold or bringing on a headache. I already feel as if I
had known him a lifetime. I read him as clearly as if I had. I know the
type to which he belongs; I have encountered, first and last, a good

many specimens of it. He's neither more nor less than a gossip--a
gossip flanked by a coxcomb and an egotist. He's shallow, vain, cold,
superstitious, timid, pretentious, capricious: a pretty list of foibles! And
yet, for all this, he has his good points. His caprices are sometimes
generous, and his rebellion against the ugliness of life frequently makes
him do kind things. His memory (for trifles) is remarkable, and (where
his own performances are not involved) his taste is excellent. He has no
courage for evil more than for good. He is the victim, however, of more
illusions with regard to himself than I ever knew a single brain to
shelter. At the age of twenty, poor, ignorant and remarkably handsome,
he married