St. Nicholas Magazine for Boys and Girls | Page 9

sacrifice truth to
politeness, read Mrs. Opie's "Tale of Potted Sprats," and you will not be
likely to be insincere again.
It is well to remember that some things which seem of very little
importance to you may make an unpleasant impression upon others, in
consequence of a difference in early training. The other day two young

ladies were heard discussing a gentleman who had a great many
pleasant qualities. "Yes," said one, "he is very handsome, but he does
eat pie with his knife." Take care that no trifle of that kind is recalled
when people are speaking of you.
Keep your own room in order, and do not scatter your belongings all
over the house. If your friends are orderly, it will annoy them to see
your things out of place; and if they are not, their own disorder will be
enough without adding yours.
Make up your mind to be entertained with what is designed to entertain
you. If your friends invite you to join them in an excursion, express
your pleasure and readiness to go, and do not act as though you were
conferring a favor instead of receiving one. No visitors are so
wearisome as those who do not meet half way whatever proposals are
made for their pleasure. Be contented to amuse yourself quietly in the
house, or to join in any outside gayeties to which you are invited, and
show by your manner that you enjoy both.
If games are proposed, do not say that you will not play, or "would
rather look on;" but join with the rest, and do the best you can. Never
let a foolish feeling of pride, lest you should not make so good an
appearance as the others, prevent your trying.
If you are not skillful, you will at least show that you are good-natured,
and that you do not think yourself modest when you are only proud.
If you have any skill in head or fingers, you will never have a better
time to use it than when you are visiting; only, whatever you do, do
well, and do not urge your offers of assistance after you see that it is
not really desired. Mrs. Poyser, who is one of George Eliot's best
characters, says: "Folks as have no mind to be o' use have allays the
luck to be out o' the road when there's anything to be done." If you do
not find any place to be useful, you may be tolerably sure that it is your
own fault.
I heard a gentleman say of a young lady whose small affectations were
undergoing a sharp criticism, "Well, whatever you may say of her, she

is certainly more ready to make herself useful than any other young
lady who visits here. If I lose my glasses, or mislay the newspaper, or
want a stitch taken, she is always ready." And I shall never forget the
impression which a young lady made upon me, as I saw her sit idly
rocking backward and forward, complacently surveying the young
friends she was visiting as they were hurrying to finish peeling a basket
of peaches.
While visiting, remember that you meet many who are strangers to you,
and do not seem to you especially attractive, but who may still be dear
and valued friends of the family; and be cautious about making
criticisms upon them. Be friendly and cordial toward those whom you
meet, and try to show that you are ready to like them. Whatever
peculiarities you may observe, either in the family or its guests, which
strike you as amusing, be careful that you do not sin against the law of
love, by repeating little things, to their disadvantage, which you have
found out while you were admitted to the sanctuary of the home.
Do not ask questions which people would rather not answer, and be
careful not to speak of anything which will bring up painful
recollections, or be likely to cause unpleasant forebodings. The old
proverb expresses this in few words: "Never mention a rope in the
family of a man who has been hanged."
If your own home is in any way better and handsomer than your
friends', do not say anything which may seem like making invidious
comparisons, or allow them to see that you miss any of the
conveniences to which you have been accustomed.
Be careful about making any unnecessary work for others, and do not
ask even the servants to do for you anything which you ought to do for
yourself. The family had their time filled up before you came, and, do
what you will, you are an extra one, and will make some difference.
Provide yourself, before you leave home, with whatever small supplies
you are likely to need,