Speed the Plough | Page 2

his life depended, can upon no principle of reason be accounted for; unless the author took into consideration, what has sometimes been observed,--that a murderer, in contrivance to conceal his guilt, foolishly fixes on the very means, which bring him to conviction.

PERSONS REPRESENTED.
SIR PHILIP BLANDFORD Mr. Pope. MORRINGTON Mr. Murray. SIR ABEL HANDY Mr. Munden. BOB HANDY Mr. Fawcett. HENRY Mr. H. Johnston. FARMER ASHFIELD Mr. Knight. EVERGREEN Mr. Davenport. GERALD Mr. Waddy. POSTILLION Mr. Abbot. YOUNG HANDY'S SERVANT Mr. Klanert. PETER Mr. Atkins.
MISS BLANDFORD Mrs. H. Johnston. LADY HANDY Mrs. Dibdin. SUSAN ASHFIELD Miss Murray. DAME ASHFIELD Mrs. Davenport.

SPEED THE PLOUGH.
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE I.
In the fore ground a Farm House.--A view of a Castle at a distance.
FARMER ASHFIELD discovered at a table, with his jug and pipe.
Enter DAME ASHFIELD, in a riding dress, and a basket under her arm.
Ash. Well, Dame, welcome whoam. What news does thee bring vrom market?
Dame. What news, husband? What I always told you; that Farmer Grundy's wheat brought five shillings a quarter more than ours did.
Ash. All the better vor he.
Dame. Ah! the sun seems to shine on purpose for him.
Ash. Come, come, missus, as thee hast not the grace to thank God for prosperous times, dan't thee grumble when they be unkindly a bit.
Dame. And I assure you, Dame Grundy's butter was quite the crack of the market.
Ash. Be quiet, woolye? aleways ding, dinging Dame Grundy into my ears--what will Mrs. Grundy zay? What will Mrs. Grundy think--Canst thee be quiet, let ur alone, and behave thyzel pratty?
Dame.--Certainly I can--I'll tell thee, Tummas, what she said at church last Sunday.
Ash. Canst thee tell what parson zaid? Noa--Then I'll tell thee--A' zaid that envy were as foul a weed as grows, and cankers all wholesome plants that be near it--that's what a' zaid.
Dame. And do you think I envy Mrs. Grundy indeed?
Ash. Why dant thee letten her aloane then--I do verily think when thee goest to t'other world, the vurst question thee ax 'il be, if Mrs. Grundy's there--Zoa be quiet, and behave pratty, do'ye--Has thee brought whoam the Salisbury news?
Dame. No, Tummas: but I have brought a rare wadget of news with me. First and foremost I saw such a mort of coaches, servants, and waggons, all belonging to Sir Abel Handy, and all coming to the castle--and a handsome young man, dressed all in lace, pulled off his hat to me, and said--"Mrs. Ashfield, do me the honour of presenting that letter to your husband."--So there he stood without his hat--Oh, Tummas, had you seen how Mrs. Grundy looked!
Ash. Dom Mrs. Grundy--be quiet, and let I read, woolye? [Reads.] "My dear farmer" [Taking off his hat.] Thankye zur--zame to you, wi' all my heart and soul--"My dear farmer"--
Dame. Farmer--Why, you are blind, Tummas, it is--"My dear father"--Tis from our own dear Susan.
Ash. Odds dickens and daizeys! zoo it be, zure enow!--"My dear feyther, you will be surprized"--Zoo I be, he, he! What pretty writing, bean't it? all as straight as thof it were ploughed--"Surprized to hear, that in a few hours I shall embrace you--Nelly, who was formerly our servant, has fortunately married Sir Abel Handy Bart."--
Dame. Handy Bart.--Pugh! Bart. stands for Baronight, mun.
Ash. Likely, likely,--Drabbit it, only to think of the zwaps and changes of this world!
Dame. Our Nelly married to a great Baronet! I wonder, Tummas, what Mrs. Grundy will say?
Ash. Now, woolye be quiet, and let I read--"And she has proposed bringing me to see you; an offer, I hope, as acceptable to my dear feyther"--
Dame. "And mother"--
Ash. Bless her, how prettily she do write feyther, dan't she?
Dame. And mother.
Ash. Ees, but feyther first, though----"As acceptable to my dear feyther and mother, as to their affectionate daughter--Susan Ashfield."--Now bean't that a pratty letter?
Dame. And, Tummas, is not she a pretty girl?
Ash. Ees; and as good as she be pratty--Drabbit it, I do feel zoo happy, and zoo warm,--for all the world like the zun in harvest.
Dame. Oh, Tummas, I shall be so pleased to see her, I shan't know whether I stand on my head or my heels.
Ash. Stand on thy head! vor sheame o' thyzel--behave pratty, do.
Dame. Nay, I meant no harm--Eh, here comes friend Evergreen the gardener, from the castle. Bless me, what a hurry the old man is in.
Enter EVERGREEN.
Everg. Good day, honest Thomas.
Ash. Zame to you, measter Evergreen.
Everg. Have you heard the news?
Dame. Any thing about Mrs. Grundy?
Ash. Dame, be quiet, woolye now?
Everg. No, no--The news is, that my master, Sir Philip Blandford, after having been abroad for twenty years, returns this day to the castle; and that the reason of his coming is, to marry his only daughter to the son of Sir Abel Handy, I think they call him.
Dame. As sure as two-pence, that is Nelly's husband.
Everg. Indeed!--Well, Sir Abel and his son