Songs of a Savoyard | Page 4

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Ballad: The Highly Respectable Gondolier
I stole the Prince, and I brought him here,?And left him, gaily prattling?With a highly respectable Gondolier,?Who promised the Royal babe to rear,?And teach him the trade of a timoneer?With his own beloved bratling.
Both of the babes were strong and stout,?And, considering all things, clever.?Of that there is no manner of doubt -?No probable, possible shadow of doubt -?No possible doubt whatever.
Time sped, and when at the end of a year?I sought that infant cherished,?That highly respectable Gondolier?Was lying a corpse on his humble bier -?I dropped a Grand Inquisitor's tear -?That Gondolier had perished!
A taste for drink, combined with gout,?Had doubled him up for ever.?Of THAT there is no manner of doubt -?No probable, possible shadow of doubt -?No possible doubt whatever.
But owing, I'm much disposed to fear,?To his terrible taste for tippling,?That highly respectable Gondolier?Could never declare with a mind sincere?Which of the two was his offspring dear,?And which the Royal stripling!
Which was which he could never make out,?Despite his best endeavour.?Of THAT there is no manner of doubt -?No probable, possible shadow of doubt -?No possible doubt whatever.
The children followed his old career -?(This statement can't be parried)?Of a highly respectable Gondolier:?Well, one of the two (who will soon be here) -?But WHICH of the two is not quite clear -?Is the Royal Prince you married!
Search in and out and round about?And you'll discover never?A tale so free from every doubt -?All probable, possible shadow of doubt -?All possible doubt whatever!
Ballad: The Fairy Queen's Song
Oh, foolish fay,?Think you because?Man's brave array?My bosom thaws?I'd disobey?Our fairy laws??Because I fly?In realms above,?In tendency?To fall in love?Resemble I?The amorous dove?
Oh, amorous dove!?Type of Ovidius Naso!?This heart of mine?Is soft as thine,?Although I dare not say so!
On fire that glows?With heat intense?I turn the hose?Of Common Sense,?And out it goes?At small expense!?We must maintain?Our fairy law;?That is the main?On which to draw -?In that we gain?A Captain Shaw.
Oh, Captain Shaw!?Type of true love kept under!?Could thy Brigade?With cold cascade?Quench my great love, I wonder!
Ballad: Is Life A Boon
Is life a boon??If so, it must befall?That Death, whene'er he call,?Must call too soon.?Though fourscore years he give?Yet one would pray to live?Another moon!?What kind of plaint have I,?Who perish in July??I might have had to die?Perchance in June!
Is life a thorn??Then count it not a whit!?Man is well done with it;?Soon as he's born?He should all means essay?To put the plague away;?And I, war-worn,?Poor captured fugitive,?My life most gladly give -?I might have had to live?Another morn!
Ballad: The Modern Major-General
I am the very pattern of a modern Major-Gineral,?I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral;?I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;?I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,?I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical;?About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,?With interesting facts about the square of the hypotenuse,?I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,?I know the scientific names of beings animalculous.?In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,?I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral.
I know our mythic history - KING ARTHUR'S and SIR CARADOC'S, I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox;?I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of HELIOGABALUS,?In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous.?I tell undoubted RAPHAELS from GERARD DOWS and ZOFFANIES,?I know the croaking chorus from the "Frogs" of ARISTOPHANES; Then I can hum a fugue, of which I've heard the music's din afore, And whistle all the airs from that confounded nonsense "Pinafore." Then I can write a washing-bill in Babylonic cuneiform,?And tell you every detail of CARACTACUS'S uniform.?In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,?I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin," When I can tell at sight a Chassepot rifle from a javelin,?When such affairs as SORTIES and surprises I'm more wary at, And when I know precisely what is meant by Commissariat,?When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery,?In short, when I've a smattering of elementary strategy,?You'll say a better Major-GenerAL has never SAT a gee -?For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century. But still in learning vegetable, animal, and mineral,?I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral!
Ballad: The Heavy Dragoon
If you want a receipt for that popular mystery,?Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon,?Take all the remarkable people in history,?Rattle them off to a popular tune!?The pluck of LORD NELSON on board of the VICTORY -?Genius of BISMARCK devising a plan;?The humour of FIELDING (which sounds contradictory) -?Coolness of PAGET about to trepan -?The grace of MOZART,