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Songs of a Savoyard by W. S. Gilbert?Scanned and proofed by David Price, email
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Songs of a Savoyard
Contents:
The Darned Mounseer?The Englishman?The Disagreeable Man?The Coming By-And-By?The Highly Respectable Gondolier?The Fairy Queen's Song?Is Life A Boon?The Modern Major-General?The Heavy Dragoon?Proper Pride?The Policeman's Lot?The Baffled Grumbler?The House Of Peers?A Merry Madrigal?The Duke And The Duchess?Eheu Fugaces -!?They'll None Of `Em Be Missed?Girl Graduates?Braid The Raven Hair?The Working Monarch?The Ape And The Lady?Only Roses?The Rover's Apology?An Appeal?The Reward Of Merit?The Magnet And The Churn?The Family Fool?Sans Souci?A Recipe?The Merryman And His Maid?The Susceptible Chancellor?When A Merry Maiden Marries?The British Tar?A Man Who Would Woo A Fair Maid?The Sorcerer's Song?The Fickle Breeze?The First Lord's Song?Would You Know??Speculation?Ah Me!?The Duke Of Plaza-Toro?The Aesthete?Said I To Myself, Said I?Sorry Her Lot?The Contemplative Sentry?The Philosophic Pill?Blue Blood?The Judge's Song?When I First Put This Uniform On?Solatium?A Nightmare?Don't Forget!?The Suicide's Grave?He And She?The Mighty Must?A Mirage?The Ghosts' High Noon?The Humane Mikado?Willow Waly!?Life Is Lovely All The Year?The Usher's Charge?The Great Oak Tree?King Goodheart?Sleep On!?The Love-Sick Boy?Poetry Everywhere?He Loves!?True Diffidence?The Tangled Skein?My Lady?One Against The World?Put A Penny In The Slot?Good Little Girls?Life?Limited Liability?Anglicised Utopia?An English Girl?A Manager's Perplexities?Out Of Sorts?How It's Done?A Classical Revival?The Practical Joker?The National Anthem?Her Terms?The Independent Bee?The Disconcerted Tenor?The Played-Out Humorist
Ballad: The Darned Mounseer
I shipped, d'ye see, in a Revenue sloop,?And, off Cape Finisteere,?A merchantman we see,?A Frenchman, going free,?So we made for the bold Mounseer,?D'ye see??We made for the bold Mounseer!?But she proved to be a Frigate - and she up with her ports, And fires with a thirty-two!?It come uncommon near,?But we answered with a cheer,?Which paralysed the Parley-voo,?D'ye see??Which paralysed the Parley-voo!
Then our Captain he up and he says, says he,?"That chap we need not fear, -?We can take her, if we like,?She is sartin for to strike,?For she's only a darned Mounseer,?D'ye see??She's only a darned Mounseer!?But to fight a French fal-lal - it's like hittin' of a gal - It's a lubberly thing for to do;?For we, with all our faults,?Why, we're sturdy British salts,?While she's but a Parley-voo,?D'ye see??A miserable Parley-voo!"
So we up with our helm, and we scuds before the breeze,?As we gives a compassionating cheer;?Froggee answers with a shout?As he sees us go about,?Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer,?D'ye see??Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer!?And I'll wager in their joy they kissed each other's cheek?(Which is what them furriners do),?And they blessed their lucky stars?We were hardy British tars?Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo,?D'ye see??Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo!
Ballad: The Englishman
He is an Englishman!?For he himself has said it,?And it's greatly to his credit,?That he is an Englishman!?For he might have been a Roosian,?A French, or Turk, or Proosian,?Or perhaps Itali-an!?But in spite of all temptations,?To belong to other nations,?He remains an Englishman!?Hurrah!?For the true-born Englishman!
Ballad: The Disagreeable Man
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am:?I'm a genuine philanthropist - all other kinds are sham.?Each little fault of temper and each social defect?In my erring fellow-creatures, I endeavour to correct.?To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes,?And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise;?I love my fellow-creatures - I do all the good I can -?Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!?And I can't think why!
To compliments inflated I've a withering reply,?And vanity I always do my best to mortify;?A charitable action I can skilfully dissect;?And interested motives I'm delighted to detect.?I know everybody's income and what everybody earns,?And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns;?But to benefit humanity, however much I plan,?Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!?And I can't think why!
I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be;?You'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee;?I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer,?I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer;?To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two;?I can tell a woman's age in half a minute - and I do -?But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can,?Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!?And I can't think why!
Ballad: The Coming By-And-By
Sad is that woman's lot who, year by year,?Sees, one by one, her beauties disappear;?As Time, grown weary of her heart-drawn sighs,?Impatiently begins to "dim her eyes"! -?Herself compelled, in life's uncertain gloamings,?To wreathe her wrinkled brow with well-saved "combings" -?Reduced, with rouge, lipsalve, and pearly grey,?To "make up" for lost time, as best she may!
Silvered is the raven hair,?Spreading is the parting straight,?Mottled the complexion fair,?Halting is the youthful gait,
Hollow is the laughter free,?Spectacled the limpid eye,?Little will be left of me,?In the coming by-and-by!?Fading is the taper waist -?Shapeless grows the shapely limb,?And although securely laced,?Spreading is the figure trim!?Stouter than I used to be,?Still more corpulent grow I -?There will be too much of me?In the 
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