Soldiers Three

Soldiers Three, by Rudyard
Kipling

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Soldiers Three, by Rudyard Kipling
#22 in our series by Rudyard Kipling
Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the
copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing
this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.
This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project
Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the
header without written permission.
Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the
eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is
important information about your specific rights and restrictions in how
the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a
donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.
**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**
**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since
1971**
*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of
Volunteers!*****
Title: Soldiers Three
Author: Rudyard Kipling

Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6120] [Yes, we are more than one
year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on November 13,
2002]
Edition: 10
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOLDIERS
THREE ***

Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading
Team.

Soldiers Three
The Story of the Gadsbys In Black and White
By Rudyard Kipling
1895

CONTENTS
THE GOD FROM THE MACHINE OF THOSE CALLED PRIVATE
LEAROYD'S STORY THE BIG DRUNK DRAF' THE WRECK OF
THE VISIGOTH THE SOLID MULDOON WITH THE MAIN
GUARD IN THE MATTER OF A PRIVATE BLACK JACK POOR
DEAR MAMMA THE WORLD WITHOUT THE TENTS OF
KEDAR WITH ANY AMAZEMENT THE GARDEN OF EDEN
FATIMA THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW THE SWELLING OF
JORDAN DRAY WARA YOW DEE THE JUDGMENT OF

DUNGARA AT HOWLI THANA GEMINI AT TWENTY-TWO IN
FLOOD TIME THE SENDING OF DANA DA ON THE CITY
WALL THE STORY OF THE GADSBYS IN BLACK AND WHITE

THE GOD FROM THE MACHINE
Hit a man an' help a woman, an' ye can't be far wrong anyways.--
Maxims of Private Mulvaney.
The Inexpressibles gave a ball. They borrowed a seven-pounder from
the Gunners, and wreathed it with laurels, and made the dancing-floor
plate-glass, and provided a supper, the like of which had never been
eaten before, and set two sentries at the door of the room to hold the
trays of programme-cards. My friend, Private Mulvaney, was one of the
sentries, because he was the tallest man in the regiment. When the
dance was fairly started the sentries were released, and Private
Mulvaney went to curry favour with the Mess Sergeant in charge of the
supper. Whether the Mess Sergeant gave or Mulvaney took, I cannot
say. All that I am certain of is that, at supper-time, I found Mulvaney
with Private Ortheris, two-thirds of a ham, a loaf of bread, half a
pate-de-foie-gras, and two magnums of champagne, sitting on the roof
of my carriage. As I came up I heard him saying--
'Praise be a danst doesn't come as often as Ord'ly-room, or, by this an'
that, Orth'ris, me son, I wud be the dishgrace av the rig'mint instid av
the brightest jool in uts crown.'
'Hand the Colonel's pet noosance,' said Ortheris. 'But wot makes you
curse your rations? This 'ere fizzy stuff's good enough.'
'Stuff, ye oncivilised pagin! 'Tis champagne we're dhrinkin' now. 'Tisn't
that I am set ag'in. 'Tis this quare stuff wid the little bits av black
leather in it. I misdoubt I will be distressin'ly sick wid it in the mornin'.
Fwhat is ut?'
'Goose liver,' I said, climbing on the top of the carriage, for I knew that
it was better to sit out with Mulvaney than to dance many dances.

'Goose liver is ut?' said Mulvaney. 'Faith, I'm thinkin' thim that makes it
wud do betther to cut up the Colonel. He carries a power av liver
undher his right arrum whin the days are warm an' the nights chill. He
wud give thim tons an' tons av liver. 'Tis he sez so. "I'm all liver
to-day," sez he; an' wid that he ordhers me ten days C. B. for as moild a
dhrink as iver a good sodger tuk betune his teeth.'
'That was when 'e wanted for to wash 'isself in the Fort Ditch,' Ortheris
explained. 'Said there was too much beer in the Barrack water-butts for
a God-fearing man. You was lucky in gettin' orf with wot you did,
Mulvaney.'
'Say you so? Now I'm pershuaded I was cruel hard trated, seein' fwhat
I've done for the likes av him in the days whin my eyes were wider
opin than they are now. Man alive, for the