Sketches of Young Gentlemen | Page 3

shakes hands

most affectionately with all of them, in doing which he knocks out of
their grasp sundry little parcels, which he hastily picks up, and returns
very muddy and disordered. The chances are that the bashful young
gentleman then observes it is very fine weather, and being reminded
that it has only just left off raining for the first time these three days, he
blushes very much, and smiles as if he had said a very good thing. The
young lady who was most anxious to speak, here inquires, with an air
of great commiseration, how his dear sister Harriet is to-day; to which
the young gentleman, without the slightest consideration, replies with
many thanks, that she is remarkably well. 'Well, Mr. Hopkins!' cries the
young lady, 'why, we heard she was bled yesterday evening, and have
been perfectly miserable about her.' 'Oh, ah,' says the young gentleman,
'so she was. Oh, she's very ill, very ill indeed.' The young gentleman
then shakes his head, and looks very desponding (he has been smiling
perpetually up to this time), and after a short pause, gives his glove a
great wrench at the wrist, and says, with a strong emphasis on the
adjective, 'GOOD morning, GOOD morning.' And making a great
number of bows in acknowledgment of several little messages to his
sister, walks backward a few paces, and comes with great violence
against a lamp-post, knocking his hat off in the contact, which in his
mental confusion and bodily pain he is going to walk away without,
until a great roar from a carter attracts his attention, when he picks it up,
and tries to smile cheerfully to the young ladies, who are looking back,
and who, he has the satisfaction of seeing, are all laughing heartily.
At a quadrille party, the bashful young gentleman always remains as
near the entrance of the room as possible, from which position he
smiles at the people he knows as they come in, and sometimes steps
forward to shake hands with more intimate friends: a process which on
each repetition seems to turn him a deeper scarlet than before. He
declines dancing the first set or two, observing, in a faint voice, that he
would rather wait a little; but at length is absolutely compelled to allow
himself to be introduced to a partner, when he is led, in a great heat and
blushing furiously, across the room to a spot where half-a-dozen
unknown ladies are congregated together.
'Miss Lambert, let me introduce Mr. Hopkins for the next quadrille.'
Miss Lambert inclines her head graciously. Mr. Hopkins bows, and his
fair conductress disappears, leaving Mr. Hopkins, as he too well knows,

to make himself agreeable. The young lady more than half expects that
the bashful young gentleman will say something, and the bashful young
gentleman feeling this, seriously thinks whether he has got anything to
say, which, upon mature reflection, he is rather disposed to conclude he
has not, since nothing occurs to him. Meanwhile, the young lady, after
several inspections of her bouquet, all made in the expectation that the
bashful young gentleman is going to talk, whispers her mamma, who is
sitting next her, which whisper the bashful young gentleman
immediately suspects (and possibly with very good reason) must be
about HIM. In this comfortable condition he remains until it is time to
'stand up,' when murmuring a 'Will you allow me?' he gives the young
lady his arm, and after inquiring where she will stand, and receiving a
reply that she has no choice, conducts her to the remotest corner of the
quadrille, and making one attempt at conversation, which turns out a
desperate failure, preserves a profound silence until it is all over, when
he walks her twice round the room, deposits her in her old seat, and
retires in confusion.
A married bashful gentleman-for these bashful gentlemen do get
married sometimes; how it is ever brought about, is a mystery to us-a
married bashful gentleman either causes his wife to appear bold by
contrast, or merges her proper importance in his own insignificance.
Bashful young gentlemen should be cured, or avoided. They are never
hopeless, and never will be, while female beauty and attractions retain
their influence, as any young lady will find, who may think it worth
while on this confident assurance to take a patient in hand.

THE OUT-AND-OUT YOUNG GENTLEMAN

Out-and-out young gentlemen may be divided into two classes-those
who have something to do, and those who have nothing. I shall
commence with the former, because that species come more frequently
under the notice of young ladies, whom it is our province to warn and
to instruct.
The out-and-out young gentleman is usually no great dresser, his
instructions to his tailor being all comprehended in