Sketches of Young Couples | Page 2

daughter to marry, she
should be married on the same day as Her said Most Gracious Majesty.
THAT such arch plots, conspiracies, and designs, besides being fraught
with danger to the Established Church, and (consequently) to the State,
cannot fail to bring ruin and bankruptcy upon a large class of Her
Majesty's subjects; as a great and sudden increase in the number of
married men occasioning the comparative desertion (for a time) of
Taverns, Hotels, Billiard-rooms, and Gaming-Houses, will deprive the
Proprietors of their accustomed profits and returns. And in further proof
of the depth and baseness of such designs, it may be here observed, that
all proprietors of Taverns, Hotels, Billiard-rooms, and Gaming-Houses,
are (especially the last) solemnly devoted to the Protestant religion.
FOR all these reasons, and many others of no less gravity and import,
an urgent appeal is made to the gentlemen of England (being bachelors
or widowers) to take immediate steps for convening a Public meeting;
To consider of the best and surest means of averting the dangers with
which they are threatened by the recurrence of Bissextile, or Leap Year,
and the additional sensation created among single ladies by the terms of
Her Majesty's Most Gracious Declaration; To take measures, without
delay, for resisting the said single Ladies, and counteracting their evil
designs; And to pray Her Majesty to dismiss her present Ministers, and
to summon to her Councils those distinguished Gentlemen in various
Honourable Professions who, by insulting on all occasions the only

Lady in England who can be insulted with safety, have given a
sufficient guarantee to Her Majesty's Loving Subjects that they, at least,
are qualified to make war with women, and are already expert in the
use of those weapons which are common to the lowest and most
abandoned of the sex.

THE YOUNG COUPLE

There is to be a wedding this morning at the corner house in the terrace.
The pastry-cook's people have been there half-a-dozen times already;
all day yesterday there was a great stir and bustle, and they were up this
morning as soon as it was light. Miss Emma Fielding is going to be
married to young Mr. Harvey.
Heaven alone can tell in what bright colours this marriage is painted
upon the mind of the little housemaid at number six, who has hardly
slept a wink all night with thinking of it, and now stands on the
unswept door-steps leaning upon her broom, and looking wistfully
towards the enchanted house. Nothing short of omniscience can divine
what visions of the baker, or the green- grocer, or the smart and most
insinuating butterman, are flitting across her mind--what thoughts of
how she would dress on such an occasion, if she were a lady--of how
she would dress, if she were only a bride--of how cook would dress,
being bridesmaid, conjointly with her sister 'in place' at Fulham, and
how the clergyman, deeming them so many ladies, would be quite
humbled and respectful. What day-dreams of hope and happiness--of
life being one perpetual holiday, with no master and no mistress to
grant or withhold it--of every Sunday being a Sunday out--of pure
freedom as to curls and ringlets, and no obligation to hide fine heads of
hair in caps-- what pictures of happiness, vast and immense to her, but
utterly ridiculous to us, bewilder the brain of the little housemaid at
number six, all called into existence by the wedding at the corner!
We smile at such things, and so we should, though perhaps for a better
reason than commonly presents itself. It should be pleasant to us to

know that there are notions of happiness so moderate and limited, since
upon those who entertain them, happiness and lightness of heart are
very easily bestowed.
But the little housemaid is awakened from her reverie, for forth from
the door of the magical corner house there runs towards her, all
fluttering in smart new dress and streaming ribands, her friend Jane
Adams, who comes all out of breath to redeem a solemn promise of
taking her in, under cover of the confusion, to see the breakfast table
spread forth in state, and--sight of sights!--her young mistress ready
dressed for church.
And there, in good truth, when they have stolen up-stairs on tip- toe
and edged themselves in at the chamber-door--there is Miss Emma
'looking like the sweetest picter,' in a white chip bonnet and orange
flowers, and all other elegancies becoming a bride, (with the make,
shape, and quality of every article of which the girl is perfectly familiar
in one moment, and never forgets to her dying day)--and there is Miss
Emma's mamma in tears, and Miss Emma's papa comforting her, and
saying how that of course she has been long looking forward to this,
and how happy