Sketches by Boz | Page 9

bundle in one hand, and a pair of pattens in the

other, who looked as if she had been suddenly knocked up out of bed
for some very special purpose.
When we got up in the morning we saw that the knocker was tied up in
an old white kid glove; and we, in our innocence (we were in a state of
bachelorship then), wondered what on earth it all meant, until we heard
the eldest Miss Willis, in propria persona say, with great dignity, in
answer to the next inquiry, 'MY compliments, and Mrs. Robinson's
doing as well as can be expected, and the little girl thrives wonderfully.'
And then, in common with the rest of the row, our curiosity was
satisfied, and we began to wonder it had never occurred to us what the
matter was, before.

CHAPTER IV
--THE ELECTION FOR BEADLE

A great event has recently occurred in our parish. A contest of
paramount interest has just terminated; a parochial convulsion has
taken place. It has been succeeded by a glorious triumph, which the
country--or at least the parish--it is all the same--will long remember.
We have had an election; an election for beadle. The supporters of the
old beadle system have been defeated in their stronghold, and the
advocates of the great new beadle principles have achieved a proud
victory.
Our parish, which, like all other parishes, is a little world of its own,
has long been divided into two parties, whose contentions, slumbering
for a while, have never failed to burst forth with unabated vigour, on
any occasion on which they could by possibility be renewed.
Watching-rates, lighting-rates, paving-rates, sewer's- rates, church-rates,
poor's-rates--all sorts of rates, have been in their turns the subjects of a
grand struggle; and as to questions of patronage, the asperity and
determination with which they have been contested is scarcely credible.

The leader of the official party--the steady advocate of the
churchwardens, and the unflinching supporter of the overseers--is an
old gentleman who lives in our row. He owns some half a dozen houses
in it, and always walks on the opposite side of the way, so that he may
be able to take in a view of the whole of his property at once. He is a
tall, thin, bony man, with an interrogative nose, and little restless
perking eyes, which appear to have been given him for the sole purpose
of peeping into other people's affairs with. He is deeply impressed with
the importance of our parish business, and prides himself, not a little,
on his style of addressing the parishioners in vestry assembled. His
views are rather confined than extensive; his principles more narrow
than liberal. He has been heard to declaim very loudly in favour of the
liberty of the press, and advocates the repeal of the stamp duty on
newspapers, because the daily journals who now have a monopoly of
the public, never give verbatim reports of vestry meetings. He would
not appear egotistical for the world, but at the same time he must say,
that there are SPEECHES--that celebrated speech of his own, on the
emoluments of the sexton, and the duties of the office, for
instance--which might be communicated to the public, greatly to their
improvement and advantage.
His great opponent in public life is Captain Purday, the old naval
officer on half-pay, to whom we have already introduced our readers.
The captain being a determined opponent of the constituted authorities,
whoever they may chance to be, and our other friend being their steady
supporter, with an equal disregard of their individual merits, it will
readily be supposed, that occasions for their coming into direct
collision are neither few nor far between. They divided the vestry
fourteen times on a motion for heating the church with warm water
instead of coals: and made speeches about liberty and expenditure, and
prodigality and hot water, which threw the whole parish into a state of
excitement. Then the captain, when he was on the visiting committee,
and his opponent overseer, brought forward certain distinct and specific
charges relative to the management of the workhouse, boldly expressed
his total want of confidence in the existing authorities, and moved for 'a
copy of the recipe by which the paupers' soup was prepared, together
with any documents relating thereto.' This the overseer steadily resisted;

he fortified himself by precedent, appealed to the established usage,
and declined to produce the papers, on the ground of the injury that
would be done to the public service, if documents of a strictly private
nature, passing between the master of the workhouse and the cook,
were to be thus dragged to light on the motion of any individual
member of the vestry. The motion was lost by a majority of two; and
then