Sir Thomas More | Page 6

a man, I will procure they pardon

for that jest.
LIFTER. Good Master Shrieve, seek not my overthrow: You know, sir,
I have many heavy friends, And more indictments like to come upon
me. You are too deep for me to deal withal; You are known to be one
of the wisest men That is in England: I pray ye, Master Sheriff, Go not
about to undermine my life.
MORE. Lifter, I am true subject to my king; Thou much mistake me:
and, for thou shall not think I mean by this to hurt thy life at all, I will
maintain the act when thou hast done it. Thou knowest there are such
matters in my hands, As if I pleased to give them to the jury, I should
not need this way to circumvent thee. All that I aim at is a merry jest:
Perform it, Lifter, and expect my best.
LIFTER. I thank your worship: God preserve your life! But Master
Justice Suresby is gone in; I know not how to come near where he is.
MORE. Let me alone for that; I'll be thy setter; I'll send him hither to
thee presently, Under the colour of thine own request, Of private
matters to acquaint him with.
LIFTER. If ye do so, sir, then let me alone; Forty to one but then his
purse is gone.
MORE. Well said: but see that thou diminish not One penny of the
money, but give it me; It is the cunning act that credits thee.
LIFTER. I will, good Master Sheriff, I assure ye.
[Exeunt More.]
I see the purpose of this gentleman Is but to check the folly of the
Justice, For blaming others in a desperate case, Wherein himself may
fall as soon as any. To save my life, it is a good adventure: Silence
there, ho! now doth the Justice enter.
[Enter Justice Suresby.]
SURESBY. Now, sirrah, now, what is your will with me? Wilt thou
discharge thy conscience like an honest man? What sayest to me, sirrah?
be brief, be brief.
LIFTER. As brief, sir, as I can.-- [Aside.] If ye stand fair, I will be brief
anon.
SURESBY. Speak out, and mumble not; what sayest thou, sirrah?
LIFTER. Sir, I am charged, as God shall be my comfort, With more
than's true.
SURESBY. Sir, sir, ye are indeed, with more than's true, For you are

flatly charged with felony; You're charged with more than truth, and
that is theft; More than a true man should be charged withal; Thou art a
varlet, that's no more than true. Trifle not with me; do not, do not,
sirrah; Confess but what thou knowest, I ask no more. LIFTER. There
be, sir, there be, if't shall please your worship--
SURESBY. There be, varlet! what be there? tell me what there be.
Come off or on: there be! what be there, knave?
LIFTER. There be, sir, diverse very cunning fellows, That, while you
stand and look them in the face, Will have your purse.
SURESBY. Th'art an honest knave: Tell me what are they? where they
may be caught? Aye, those are they I look for.
LIFTER. You talk of me, sir; Alas, I am a puny! there's one indeed
Goes by my name, he puts down all for purses; He'll steal your
worship's purse under your nose.
SURESBY. Ha, ha! Art thou so sure, varlet? Well, well, Be as familiar
as thou wilt, my knave; Tis this I long to know.
LIFTER. And you shall have your longing ere ye go.-- This fellow, sir,
perhaps will meet ye thus, Or thus, or thus, and in kind complement
Pretend acquaintance, somewhat doubtfully; And these embraces
serve--
SURESBY. Aye, marry, Lifter, wherefor serve they?
[Shrugging gladly.]
LIFTER. Only to feel Whether you go full under sail or no, Or that
your lading be aboard your bark.
SURESBY. In plainer English, Lifter, if my purse Be stored or no?
LIFTER. Ye have it, sir.
SURESBY. Excellent, excellent.
LIFTER. Then, sir, you cannot but for manner's sake Walk on with him;
for he will walk your way, Alleging either you have much forgot him,
Or he mistakes you.
SURESBY. But in this time has he my purse or no?
LIFTER. Not yet, sir, fie!-- [Aside.} No, nor I have not yours.--
[Enter Lord Mayor, &c.]
But now we must forbear; my lords return.
SURESBY. A murren on't!--Lifter, we'll more anon: Aye, thou sayest
true, there are shrewd knaves indeed:
[He sits down.]

But let them gull me, widgen me, rook me, fop me! Yfaith, yfaith, they
are too short for me. Knaves and fools meet when purses go: Wise men
look to their purses well enough.
MORE. [Aside.] Lifter, is it done?
LIFTER. [Aside.] Done, Master Shreeve; and there it is.
MORE. [Aside.] Then build upon