Side Show Studies | Page 8

death if they had to buy a dozen
eggs from one of 'em.
"And all the time old Pete kept a constant procession of small animals
moving down his throat, regardless of expense, and if the supply ran
short he would look at Merritt so reproachfully that it made him feel so
bad he couldn't deliver his lecture for sobs. He worked the pathetic on
him, but if I came around there was no 'Only three grains of corn,

mother,' expression on his face; he would just rear up on his tail and
lambaste that glass trying to get at me. I had been living pretty well
during our prosperity and I guess I looked good to him, so rather than
have any hard feelings about it I stuck closer than ever to the front of
the house.
"We had rented a frame building in a little town up on the Hudson and
were showing him off in good form. Business was rushing and we had
the S. R. O. sign out all the time, but snake food was getting scarcer
than boiled lobsters during the cold snap last winter. The show had
closed up for night and we were trying to make dents in the front of the
tavern bar with our breast bones and laying in a stock of supplies, in
case old Pete should bite us.
"While we were discussing the best way to stimulate the
rabbit-breeding industry, 'biff--boom--bang,' went the town bell and the
barkeep commenced to peel off his coat and get into a red flannel shirt
and a fireman's helmet. It was one of those towns where they have a
dude volunteer fire department, which the boys all join for the socials
in the winter and to look pretty on the annual parade day. Merritt and I
didn't hurry any; we knew that it would take some time for the chief,
who kept the town drug store, to get into his red shirt and shiny boots
and select the bouquet to carry in the big end of his speaking trumpet.
Pretty soon, 'Always Ready, Ever Faithful, Hose Company Number
One,' which comprised the department, came down the street, all of the
company shouting orders through trumpets at the two coons who were
pulling the cart.
"Of course, we went along to see the 'Fighting the Flames' show, but
say: the joke was on us, for it was our theater which provided it. There
wasn't anything left to burn and the hose company marched proudly
back. Poor old Pete was nothing but a heap of ashes and Merritt looked
sorrowful.
"'Jim,' says he, 'let's copper the rabbit market before they get wise.'"
"Did you have no insurance?" asked the Stranger sympathetically.

"Not a blame cent," replied his companion as he rose to go to bed. "But
I am making good money out of old Pete yet. I had him stuffed and get
a hundred a week from a dime museum for him--and they furnish the
feed."

THE AMOROUS BABOON

THE AMOROUS BABOON
Thanks to the busy Press Agent, the fame of Jocko the Jealous, the
amorous baboon, had preceded him to America, and when the animals
from the Paris Hippodrome had been safely transferred to their dens in
the Arena at Dreamland he was the center of attraction as he limbered
up his muscles in the large monkey cage, after the cramped
accommodations of the small traveling box. He had gained a reputation
as a masher in Paris; but never had the menagerie attendants seen him
so madly in love and so insanely jealous as upon his first introduction
to American beauty, as exemplified by the fair woman who stood
before his cage.
Jocko was not the first male being who had been fascinated by the
charms of the Prima Donna during her career; for she had been through
the marriage ceremony so often that she could say it backwards, never
forgetting to cross her fingers before saying, "Until death do us part."
The Proprietor drew the Stranger's attention to the group before the
cage, a mischievous smile on his face as he looked over the half dozen
of callow youths who are always in the train of the Prima Donna.
"Watch out for squalls over there," he said. "Jocko is affectionate now,
but there will be something doing in a few minutes." The monkey was
using all of the blandishments known to an amorous baboon and
although the words of his soft chattering were unintelligible, their
import could not be mistaken by a past mistress of the gentle art of love
making; but the Prima Donna could not be beguiled into placing herself
within reach of the hairy paws. Suddenly his mood changed, for one of

her male companions placed his hand on her arm