Shawl-Straps | Page 4

A little newspaper
was concocted, replete with wit and spirit, by these secluded ladies, and
called the 'Sherald,' to distinguish it from the 'Herald,' got up by sundry
gentlemen whose shining hours were devoted to flirtation, cards, and
wine.
'Perfect gentlemen, I assure you, my dear; for, drunk or sober, they
wear yellow kids from morning till night, smoke the best cigars, and
dance divinely,' as Mrs. Twaddle said, sitting erect in the saloon,
shrouded in fur and velvet, with five diamond-rings well displayed, as
she recounted the diseases she had enjoyed, and did the honours of a
remarkable work-basket, containing eight different sorts of scissors.
'We shall be in to-morrow, so you'd better be digging up the treasures
you have buried, you old magpie,' said Mat, appearing to the pensive
Livy on the eleventh day.
'The sun is out; come on deck, and help us get up the last edition of our
paper. How will this do? Query--If steamers are named the "Asia," the
"Russia," and the "Scotia," why not call one the "Nausea?"' added
Amanda, popping her head into the den. Lavinia threw a pillow at her,
but the undaunted joker continued--
'Also this: Financial--This being a feminine paper, gold is no longer at
Pa, but at Ma.'
'Good! Add this: Argument in favour of the Superiority of
Women--The sluggard was not told to go to his uncle.'
'Thank you,' and Amanda departed to twine with her forty-third bosom
friend, while Lavinia disinterred, from holes and corners of her berth,
money, nuts, and raisins; books, biscuits, and literary efforts much the

worse for deluges of soap and daubs of butter.
The cry of 'Land!' on the morrow caused passengers unseen before to
appear like worms after a shower; all heroically did up their back hair,
put on their best suits, and walked forth with the delusive hope that no
one would know how ill they had been.
A French Marquis, with a sickly little son, whose diet of fried potatoes
and sour wine accounted for his having the temper of a young fiend,
appeared, and were made much of by dear, title-loving Americans.
A Spanish opera-singer, stout, saffron-coloured, and imperious,
likewise emerged from obscurity, with a meek little husband, who
waited on her like a servant, and a big bald parrot, who swore like a
trooper.
Several nuns languished in corners of the saloon, surveying the vanities
of life with interest, and telling their beads devoutly when they saw
anyone looking at them.
A mysterious lady in green velvet with many diamonds, and a shabby,
speechless companion, sailed about the ship, regardless of the rumours
told of her--deserted husbands, stolen jewellery, lovers waiting on the
other side, and many equally pleasant little tales.
The gentlemen with orange gloves and copper-coloured noses got
themselves up in the most superb style, though few were going to land
at Brest, and took tender farewells of such ladies as did, each
professing desolation and despair at the termination of a twelve days'
flirtation.
'I am not fond of dirt, but I could kneel down and kiss this mud, so
grateful am I to feel solid ground under my feet, after leading the life of
a fly for so long,' said Lavinia with emotion, as the three trudged up the
wharf at Brest into a sort of barn which served for a custom-house.
'Now let each sit upon her luggage and clamour till some one comes
and examines it, else it will get whisked away heaven only knows

where,' ordered Amanda, who was the leader in right of her knowledge
of tongues.
Each perched accordingly on her one big trunk, and tried to 'clamour.'
But nothing came of it save loss of time and temper, for no one paid the
slightest heed to them; and it was maddening to see trunk after trunk
passed and sent off, followed by its rejoicing owner. Especially hard to
bear was the sight of the green-velvet sinner, who, with a smile or two,
won the sternest official to pass her five trunks without turning a key,
and sailed away with a scornful glance at the virtuous Three planted on
their property and feebly beckoning for help.
'I shall bear this no longer. Mat, sit there and guard the small things,
while you and I, Livy, charge boldly among these imbeciles and drag
them to their duty;' and Amanda marched away to clutch a cockaded
victim by the shoulder with an awe-inspiring countenance.
Lavinia picked out a feeble, gray officer, and dogged him like an Indian,
smiling affably, and pointing to her luggage with a persistent mildness
that nearly drove the poor man mad.
No matter where he went, or what he did; no matter how thick the
crowd about him, or how loud the din; still, like a relentless