Sex & Sexual Relationships

GOING OUT
sexual FEELINGS
startIng to have
RELATIONSHIPS
FEELING CURIOUS
A BOOKLET FOR YOUNG PEOPLE A BOOKLET FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
THE PRESSURE
TO GET SEXUAL
PREGNANCY
HELP & ADVICE
SEXUAL INTERCOURSEFREQUENTLY ASKED
QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX
BREAKING UP
HOW DO PEOPLE
MASTURBATE?
BEING SEXUALLY EXcited
seX&
SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIPS
seX&
SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIPS
THE FIRST TIME

seX &
SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIPS
This booklet is about some of the
physical and emotional feelings and
experiences associated with sex and
sexual relationships. Sex is often a
difficult subject to talk about, and most
young people have many questions and
concerns. This booklet has been written
with the help of young people and
particularly covers aspects of sex that
fourteen, fifteen and sixteen year olds
ask about and have said they feel are
important.The booklet deals with the feelings and
experiences many young people have
about becoming sexually active and
having sex for the first time. The aim is to
provide honest and accurate information
in order to help young people make up
their minds about what they believe,
and to help them think about and
decide how they might want to act.
2

Sexual feelings don’t suddenly start at a
particular age. But most young people
experience puberty between twelve and
sixteen. Puberty brings physical and
emotional changes. One of these changes
is the strengthening of sexual feelings.
Sexual feelings have physical aspects, like
feeling sexually aroused or ‘turned on’, and
emotional aspects, like feeling sexually
attracted to other people or falling in love.
Having sexual feelings is normal and
natural. Sexual feelings are often an
important part of having very strong,
enjoyable and intimate relationships
with other people. But at times it can
feel confusing and it can be hard to
know what to do. It can take time for your
body and your thoughts
and feelings to catch up
with each other.
Having sexual feelings quite often leads
to having sexual relationships and
experiences. Lots of young people find it
hard to know what is right when it comes
to relationships. And everyone feels
embarrassed or confused at some time.
There is no set time to begin having
sexual relationships. It can sometimes
seem like being popular or having a good
reputation depends on going out with
someone and having sexual relationships.
But the main thing is to be able to make
up your own mind about what you feel
and what you do.
startIng to have
SEXUAL FEELINGS
& RELATIONSHIPS startIng to have
SEXUAL FEELINGS
&RELATIONSHIPS
3!
I know it isn’t true but it’s diff icult
to believe not everyone’s having sex
from the way people talk about it.

GOING OUT
If you feel attracted to someone you
might want them to know and to go out
with them. If you are worried that they
will turn you down you could try and
become friends with them first, to find
out if you really like them and if they
like you. Some people going out see
each other every day, others less often.
Magazines are just full of how
bad it is when you go out
with someone. All the arguing
and jealousy. My relationship is
brilliant. We just have fun and
I really enjoy having someone
special, like a best friend who
I fancy to o.For most people going out is an important
part of their lives. It makes them feel
wanted and good about themselves. But
there might be tension between the
people going out and pressures from
other people. For example, friends might
resent you not spending time with
them. Your parents might not approve
of your relationship.
My parents don’t really mind me having
relationships but they do worry that
we’ll be having sex. I feel they don’t
trust me, but I know it’s just worry. If I
said we were just friends they wouldn’t
worry. Why does everyone assume that
going out with someone means you’re
going to have sex sooner or later?
GOING
OUT
4

BREAKING
UP
Breaking up
Hardly anyone has only one relationship
when they are young. Relationships
often end because you find you haven’t
got much in common, or one of you
starts to fancy someone else. Sometimes
one person can be too possessive.
I feel trapped because he’s
so possessive. Some of my
friends say that a boy’s
reputation would be really
bad if they were dumped
by a girl. That’s why
they’re so possessive. I still
like my boyfriend, he’s
just being immature.
Sometimes the relationship becomes less
important to one person.
Danny and me had been going
out for ages – I thought things
were going really well. We spent
most of out time together in
school and in the evenings and
at the weekends. I thought that
was what we both wanted. But
when Danny got in the school
team he was always training,
or playing. I know he wants to
do it because it makes him
happy, but I do feel jealous.
I miss him all the time.
Sometimes breaking up can be the best
thing and a relief. You might feel angry or
hurt but you might stay friends. Sooner or
later you should be able to look back and
remember the good things you did and
shared. Because breaking up can be so
upsetting, a lot of people say you shouldn’t
forget your friends when you’re going out
because you may need them afterwards.
We had a really good relationship, but we
just grew apart. I suppose we just started
out as friends so it wasn’ t too bad. We
were able to be friends again after a while.
5!

GETTING
SEXUAL
6
Getting sexual
If a relationship gets sexual it