Seven Maids of Far Cathay | Page 9

Neuchang, April 5th.

Most Wise and Honorable Mother, Moy Sen, Greetings. Bing Ang.
Bing Ang.
After four adorable years in this most distinguished and advantageous
College I am now about to go to the home of my Mother-in-law in this
same village.
To go is like fire against my face.
Day and night I cease not to weep and nothing can turn me about from
much weeping.
Miss Sterling come in to me often and say, "To marry is right and
proper, my husband will be very wise because he is learned man, I go
to live with kind, not cruel, Mother-in-law, I must not longer weep and
refuse food."
Truly I try at all times to please Miss Sterling, but to cease I cannot.

I with all of wonder and nothing of understanding see how with joy and
song like bird Miss Sterling go about the house packing trunks, boxes
all things make ready to go America side to marry with Dr. Newman;
truly she so happy she send out light from every part, from top of head
to sole of foot. Miss Sterling say to me she no have fear of
Mother-in-law what she say, how she do, how best to please
Mother-in-law so as to escape beatings daily or other hard
punishments.
Miss Sterling reveal to me how Dr. Newman have one adorable,
beautiful home already builded, already furnished, where they two live
without Mother-in-law to live with them.
I very glad and astonished about these things, so like beautiful, golden
dream, while for my own marriage I have only terror, and cannot but
weep all the day.
Today my betrothed came to College to have speech with me, also to
make plans for our marriage; Miss Sterling come to fetch me to see
Honorable betrothed, but finding my miserable eyes all swollen from
many tears, contemptible nose all red, whole face most ugly, she begin
to bathe face with Cologne and say she will not have such things; she
will to betrothed freely speak that he must make separate home for me
after the American way. My heart stand still with I know not what kind
of fears, but Miss Sterling never mind, she drag me after her to
Reception room, seat me before Honorable betrothed into whose face I
dare not to look, and then she talk many hours to show out how much
better way American way to make home.
I listen and tremble like awful chill. O, if Honorable betrothed would
only listen and believe!
At last he speak giving good assurance that he will all carry out as Miss
Sterling has requested. Then all my heart rise up and go out to Miss
Sterling in blessing; when Honorable betrothed come and stand before
me and make solemn promise. I in return beg Honorable betrothed to
pardon the contemptible selfishness of selfish me, that such
unspeakable gladness come to me with this promise.

Now almost I could love him that he this thing will do for poor
unworthy me. Can it be that to Chinese girl also can come gladness to
marry, and can come that love so wonderful, so strange that Miss
Sterling has told me of?
Today beautiful gift come from Honorable betrothed one messenger
bring to me large blue No. 1 Lacquer box, in box two gold and jade
bracelets, most fine, most rare; when I try bracelets on arms all girls
come look see, all say - "Too excellently fine," "Too dazzlingly
beautiful," "Too costly," "All same high Official lady," - "All same
Princess."
This give me much elevation of heart, but I careful not show out what
feel, only say, "Gift too small, too ugly, too mean." This time Miss
Sterling go with me to street to buy all things proper for wedding, I find
in it great pleasure, and all the girls most interest to look see.
Another visit from Honorable betrothed, this time I Not afraid so much
and can a little tell out, after Miss Sterling praise me, and say now I
become as American girl not too timid. O these American ways very
new, very strange to Chinese girl but now I have no more fear to marry
and sit all day working on beautiful red Marriage shoes and weep not
any more, truly this is magic, and not any devil magic to make fear
come.
Now on my fingers I can count the days when you and my Honorable
Sisters and Brothers will come to my Marriage. O then can speak out
all things which now too ignorant, too afraid to write.
At all times my prayers go up to the heavens for your good safety and
health, and good journey to this village.
Your Detestable and Most Foolish Child Neuchang, China June 18th.