Sequential Problem Solving | Page 9

the Mosaic Code.
King Solomon in the Bible, following the Ten Commandments of
Moses, offers some practical suggestions for dealing with interpersonal
conflict.
In Solomon's Book of Proverbs, one of Solomon's main themes is
drawing a consistent distinction between the wise man and the foolish
man. He characterizes a foolish man as someone who neither asks for
advise nor accepts it. He further characterizes the foolish man as
someone who is scornful, divisive, quarrelsome, and mocking of other's
efforts with cynicism and sarcasm.
Solomon's advise for dealing with scornful people has three steps. The
first step is to try counseling with them in private, one on one. Failing
that, the second step is to counsel with them again, but with two people,
together, advising the third. The final step is to cease relations.
Solomon's three steps are seen today in practical statesmanship. We
should remember that today's enemy is tomorrow's friend. Member
nations of the United Nations generally apply this same three-step plan
that ends in economic sanctions being applied by the United Nations as
a whole. Sometimes even ceasing relations with another is not enough
and force of arms must be taken to protect weaker neighbors from
aggression.
Whether with neighbors or nations, armed conflict is ultimately
sorrowful. It is an admission that patient diplomacy and logic have not
been successful. It is premeditated violence to protect the weak. Many
people, still developing in religious maturity and understanding, feel
torment when violence is necessary, because their religious
understanding does not extend beyond helping "all" others. It is a
question of who is helped and why. Some people too choose to pass
from this life as martyrs. Others feel compelled to stay until the end and
protect the weak like a shepherd keeping predatory dogs away from the
helpless lambs. There may be a time for each course of action.

The confusion between religion and forcing our will on others is caused
by our understanding of what helping others means. If we help others
to hurt someone, we become harmful ourselves. We become "Enablers"
[1] to those hurting others. Without our consent, the aggressor could
not have taken advantage of his weaker neighbor.
The Eastern religions, particularly Zen Buddhism, which is intimately
associated with the Samurai warrior of Japan, take great care to teach
tranquility and self-control in the use of force. Anger is not a part of
thoughtful action.
Aikido, The Way of Harmony, teaches tranquility in the use of force,
and compares it to the calm in the eye of a hurricane.[2]
The great Christian pastor, Dietrich Bonhoffer, pointed out that "just
causes" for anger did not exist in the earliest accounts of Christ's
Sermon on the Mount.[3]
* * * * *
Dealing with Interpersonal Conflict.
1. Miller, Angelyn. The Enabler. -- When Helping Harms the Ones You
Love. New York Ballentine Books, 1988.
2. Stevens, John. Abundant Peace -- the Biography of Morehei Ueshiba,
the founder of Aikido. Boston: Shambhala, 1987
3. Bobhoeffer, Dietrich. The Cost of Discipleship. New York:
Macmillan, 1963.
* * * * *
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Interpersonal Problem Solving:
Drama and literary analysis as a tool in personal problem solving.

The structure of Aristotle's Pentad [1] for five act plays is useful as a
framework for solving personal problems.
1. Who is the hero? What are his weaknesses? How is he likely to fall?
2. Who is the villain? Is the villain another person, nature or society?
3. What external events lead to the climax with the villain?
4. How does the climax with the villain turn out?
5. What did the hero learn about his own internal weaknesses in the
encounter with the villain?

This five part framework is useful in separating the external foes we
face from the internal conflicts that are our weaknesses.
External Conflicts.
External conflicts are usually found to involve either another man,
nature or society. In the man versus man conflict, another person is the
adversary. In the man versus nature conflict, the adversary might be a
hurricane, or the rigors involved in climbing a mountain. In the man
versus society conflict, the opponent might be industrial organizations
or lobby groups advocating nuclear waste disposal in the ocean.
The man versus self conflict, such as a man facing a crisis of courage,
is an internal conflict.
Internal Conflicts.
Internal conflicts are man versus himself and man versus God conflicts.
The man versus God occurs when a person violates his conscience and
does something that he knows to be wrong. Many religions advocate
resolving the man versus God conflict by admission of wrongdoing and
restitution to those harmed. There may be some people that have no

conscience, and the internal conflicts they face are not, as yet, well
understood.[2] Those people without a conscience are a continuing
source of grief for