Scarborough and the Critic | Page 8

with--a scythe?--[Aside.] A little scratch between the skin and the ribs, that's all.?Love. Let me see his wound.?Probe. Then you shall dress it, sir; for if anybody looks upon it I won't.?Love. Why, thou art the veriest coxcomb I ever saw!?Probe. Sir, I am not master of my trade for nothing.?Lord Fop. Surgeon!?Probe. Sir.?Lord Fop. Are there any hopes??Probe. Hopes! I can't tell. What are you willing to give?for a cure? Lord Fop. Five hundred paunds with pleasure.?Probe. Why then perhaps there may be hopes; but we must?avoid further delay.--Here, help the gentleman into a chair, and carry him to my house presently--that's the properest place-- [Aside.] to bubble him out of his money.--[Aloud.]?Come, a chair--a chair quickly--there, in with him. [SERVANTS put_ LORD FOPPINGTON _into a chair.]?Lord Fop. Dear Loveless, adieu; if I die, I forgive thee; and if I live, I hope thou wilt do as much by me. I am sorry you and I should quarrel, but I hope here's an end on't; for if you are satisfied, I am.?Love. I shall hardly think it worth my prosecuting any?further, so you may be at rest, sir.?Lord Fop. Thou art a generous fellow, strike me dumb!?--[Aside.] But thou hast an impertinent wife, stap my?vitals!?Probe. So--carry him off!--carry him off!--We shall have?him into a fever by-and-by.--Carry him off! [Exit with?LORD FOPPINGTON.]?Enter COLONEL TOWNLY.?Col. Town. So, so, I am glad to find you all alive.--I met a wounded peer carrying off. For heaven's sake what was the matter??Love. Oh, a trifle! he would have made love to my wife?before my face, so she obliged him with a box o' the ear, and I ran him through the body, that was all.?Col. Town. Bagatelle on all sides. But pray, madam, how?long has this noble lord been an humble servant of yours??Aman. This is the first I have heard on't--so I suppose,?'tis his quality more than his love has brought him into this adventure. He thinks his title an authentic passport to every woman's heart below the degree of a peeress.?Col. Town. He's coxcomb enough to think anything: but I?would not have you brought into trouble for him. I hope there's no danger of his life??Love. None at all. He's fallen into the hands of a roguish surgeon, who, I perceive, designs to frighten a little money out of him: but I saw his wound--'tis nothing: he may go to the ball to-night if he pleases.?Col. Town. I am glad you have corrected him without?further mischief, or you might have deprived me of the pleasure of executing a plot against his lordship, which I have been contriving with an old acquaintance of yours.?Love. Explain.?Col. Town. His brother, Tom Fashion, is come down here,?and we have it in contemplation to save him the trouble of his intended wedding: but we want your assistance. Tom would have called but he is preparing for his enterprise, so I promised to bring you to him--so, sir, if these ladies can spare you--?Love. I'll go with you with all my heart.--[Aside.]?Though I could wish, methinks, to stay and gaze a little longer on that creature. Good gods! how engaging she is!--but what have I to do with beauty? I have already had my portion, and must not covet more.?Aman. Mr. Loveless, pray one word with you before you go. [Exit COLONEL TOWNLY.?Love. What would my dear??Aman. Only a woman's foolish question: how do you like my cousin here??Love. Jealous already, Amanda??Aman. Not at all: I ask you for another reason.?Love. [Aside.] Whate'er her reason be, I must not?tell her true.--[Aloud.] Why, I confess, she's handsome:?but you must not think I slight your kinswoman, if I own to you, of all the women who may claim that character, she is the last that would triumph in my heart.?Aman. I'm satisfied.?Love. Now tell me why you asked??Aman. At night I will--adieu!?Love. I'm yours. [Kisses her and exit.]?Aman. I'm glad to find he does not like her, for I?have a great mind to persuade her to come and live with me. [Aside.]?Ber. So! I find my colonel continues in his airs; there?must be something more at the bottom of this than the provocation he pretends from me. [Aside.]?Aman. For Heaven's sake, Berinthia, tell me what way I?shall take to persuade you to come and live with me.?Ber. Why, one way in the world there is, and but one.?Aman. And pray what is that??Ber. It is to assure me--I shall be very welcome.?Aman. If that be all, you shall e'en sleep here to-night. Ber. To-night.?Aman. Yes, to-night.?Ber. Why, the people where I lodge will think me mad.?Aman. Let 'em think what they please.?Ber. Say you so, Amanda? Why, then, they shall think what they please: for I'm a young widow, and I care not what anybody thinks.--Ah, Amanda, it's a delicious