Satyricon, vol 5, Crotona Affairs | Page 9

She spoke, and from her trembling head she tore the snow-white hair,
And scratched her cheeks: her eyes shed floods of tears. As when a
torrent headlong rushes down the valleys drear, Its icy fetters gone
when Sprint appears, And strikes the frozen shackles from rejuvenated
earth So down her face the tears in torrents swept And wracking sobs
convulsed her as she wept.
"Please don't make such a fuss," I said, "I'll give you an ostrich in place
of your goose!" While she sat upon the cot and, to my stupefaction,
bewailed the death of the goose, Proselenos came in with the materials
for the sacrifice. Seeing the dead goose and inquiring the cause of her
grief, she herself commenced to weep more violently still and to
commiserate me, as if I had slain my own father, instead of a public
goose. Growing tired of this nonsense at last, "See here," said I, "could
I not purchase immunity for a price, even though I had assaulted you'?
Even though I had murdered a man? Look here! I'm laying down two
gold pieces, you can buy both gods and geese with them!" "Forgive me,
young man," said OEnothea, when she caught sight of the gold, "I am
anxious upon your account; that is a proof of love, not of malignity. Let
us take such precautions that not a soul will find this out. As for you,
pray to the gods to forgive your sacrilege!"
The rich man can sail in a favoring gale And snap out his course at his
pleasure; A Dance espouse, no Acrisius will rail, His credence by hers
he will measure; Write verse, or declaim; snap the finger of scorn At
the world, yet still win all his cases, The rabble will drink in his words
with concern When a Cato austere it displaces. At law, his "not
proven," or "proved," he can have With Servius or Labeo vieing; With
gold at command anything he may crave Is his without asking or
sighing. The universe bows at his slightest behest, For Jove is a

prisoner in his treasure chest.
In the meantime, she scurried around and put a jar of wine under my
hands and, when my fingers had all been spread out evenly, she
purified them with leeks and parsley. Then, muttering incantations, she
threw hazel- nuts into the wine and drew her conclusions as they sank
or floated; but she did not hoodwink me, for those with empty shells,
no kernel and full of air, would of course float, while those that were
heavy and full of sound kernel would sink to the bottom. {She then
turned her attention to the goose,} and, cutting open the breast, she
drew out a very fat liver from which she foretold my future. Then, for
fear any trace of the crime should remain, she cut the whole goose up,
stuck the pieces upon spits, and served up a very delectable dinner for
me, whom, but a moment before, she had herself condemned to death,
in her own words! Meanwhile, cups of unmixed wine went merrily
around (and the crones greedily devoured the goose which they had but
so lately lamented. When the last morsel had disappeared, OEnothea,
half-drunk by this time, looked at me and said, "We must now go
through with the mysteries, so that you may get back your virility.")

CHAPTER THE
ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHTH.
(As she said this OEnothea brought) out a leathern dildo which, when
she had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed,
she commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old
virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction;
finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave
my genitals a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she
commenced to strike me gently all over my belly below the navel. {The
nettles stung me horribly and I suddenly took to my heels, with the old
hags in full pursuit.} Although they were befuddled with wine and lust
they followed the right road and chased me through several wards,
screaming "Stop thief." I made good my escape, however, although
every toe was bleeding as the result of my headlong flight. (I got home
as quickly as I could and, worn out with fatigue, I sought my couch, but
I could not snatch a wink of sleep for the evil adventures which had
befallen me kept running through my brain and, brooding upon them, I

came to the conclusion that no one could be so abjectly unfortunate.
"Has Fortune, always inimical to me, stood in need of the pangs of love,
that she might torture me more cruelly still," I cried out; "unhappy
wretch that I am!