Satyricon, vol 5, Crotona Affairs | Page 6

these.
His eyes were fixed, and with averted look He stood, less moved by
any word of mine Than weeping willows bending o'er a brook Or
drooping poppies as at noon they pine.
When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good
taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively
because I had so far forgotten my modesty as to invoke in words that
part of my body which men of dignity do not even recognize. Then,
rubbing my forehead for a long time, "Why have I committed an
indiscretion in relieving my resentment by natural abuse," I mused,
"what does it amount to? Are we not accustomed to swear at every
member of the human body, the belly, throat, or even the head when it
aches, as it often does? Did not Ulysses wrangle with his own heart?
Do not the tragedians 'Damn their eyes' just as if they could hear?
"Gouty patients swear at their feet, rheumatics at their hands,
blear-eyed people at their eyes, and do not those who often stub their
toes blame their feet for all their pain?
"Why will our Catos with their frowning brows Condemn a work of
fresh simplicity'? A cheerful kindness my pure speech endows; What
people do, I write, to my capacity. For who knows not the pleasures

Venus gives? Who will not in a warm bed tease his members? Great
Epicurus taught a truth that lives; Love and enjoy life! All the rest is
embers.
"Nothing can be more insincere than the silly prejudices of mankind,
and nothing sillier than the morality of bigotry,"

CHAPTER THE
ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THIRD.
I called Giton when I had finished my meditation: "Tell me, little
brother," I demanded, "tell me, on your honor: Did Ascyltos stay awake
until he had exacted his will of you, the night he stole you away from
me? Or was he content to spend the night like a chaste widow?"
Wiping his eyes the lad, in carefully chosen words took oath that
Ascyltos had used no force against him. (The truth of the matter is, that
I was so distraught with my own misfortunes that I knew not what I
was saying. "Why recall past memories which can only cause pain,"
said I to myself. I then directed all my energies towards the recovery of
my lost manhood. To achieve this I was ready even to devote myself to
the gods; accordingly, I went out to invoke the aid of Priapus.) {Putting
as good a face upon the matter as I could} I knelt upon the threshold of
his shrine and invoked the God in the following verses:
"Of Bacchus and the nymphs, companion boon, Whom fair Dione set
o'er forests wide As God: whom Lesbos and green Thasos own For
deity, whom Lydians, far and wide Adore through all the seasons of the
year; Whose temple in his own Hypaepa placed, Thou Dryad's joy and
Bacchus', hear my prayer! To thee I come, by no dark blood disgraced,
No shrine, in wicked lust have I profaned; When I was poor and worn
with want, I sinned Not by intent, a pauper's sin's not banned As of
another! Unto thee I pray Lift thou the load from off my tortured mind,
Forgive a light offense! When fortune smiles I'll not thy glory shun and
leave behind Thy worship! Unto thee, a goat that feels His primest
vigor, father of the flocks Shall come! And suckling pigs, the tender
young Of some fine grunting sow! New wine, in crocks Shall foam!
Thy grateful praises shall be sung By youths who thrice shall dance
around thy shrine Happy, in youth and full of this year's wine!"
While I was engaged in this diplomatic effort in behalf of the affected

member, a hideous crone with disheveled hair, and clad in black
garments which were in great: disorder, entered the shrine and, laying
hands upon me, led me {thoroughly frightened,} out into the portico.

CHAPTER THE
ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOURTH.
"What witches" (she cried,) "have devoured your manhood? What filth
did you tread upon at some crossroads, in the dark? Not even by the
boy could you do your duty but, weak and effeminate, you are worn out
like a cart-horse at a hill, you have lost both labor and sweat! Not
content with getting yourself into trouble, you have stirred up the wrath
of the gods against me {and I will make you smart for it."} She then led
me, unresisting, back into the priestess's room, pushed me down upon
the bed, snatched a cane that hung upon the door, and gave me another
thrashing: I remained silent and, had the cane not splintered at the first
stroke, thereby diminishing