Same old Bill, eh Mable! | Page 6

end caisson an watch the brake." There was no use tellin him Id
seen the darn thing every day for two weeks. He thinks he knows
everything.
Of course youve never ridden on a caisson tied behind a truck. You
never went hitchin with a bob sled behind an express train in the
middle of summer nether. It was just luck that the old thing happened
to be under me every time I came down. Some times it would go crazy
an run from one side of the road to the other like it was lookin for a
chance to pass the truck. I dont know what would have happened if the

rope hadnt busted. That caisson must have thought it was a tank. It
turned right off the road, ran over a little ditch an tried to clime a tree. It
didnt have the build tho an quit.
The next thing I remember the Captin was sayin "Smith, what are you
tryin to do with that caisson, smash it?" Just as if Id swiped the darn
thing to go for a joy ride.
Well, Mable, your letter came at last. From the looks of it they must
have dragged the mail bag all the way. That certinly was interestin
about that poor young fello Archie Wainwright. It must be awful to
have a murmur in your heart when you want to go to war so bad.
Tell him not to worry about missin the war cause when I get back Ill
show him so much about it hell feel like a veteran in half an hour an his
family will be hangin out a service flag.
We just got ishued two new Lootenants inside of a week. Its gettin
harder an harder to rite anything interestin that youll understand. For
instance the first Lootenant was a 2nd and the second Lootenant was a
1st. That shows you how tecknickle it all is but of course its over your
head like a shower-bath.
One of the Lootenants came over as a casulty oficer. He just came now
from Sam Moores College of Artilery over here in France. They turn
them out of there like Fords. If he knows as much as he admits he does
I dont see why they bother to put a high priced fello like Fosh in
command for.
Were bein learned mostly by French oficers. There awful polite. I wish
the Captin could hear them. Joe says he was made a gentleman by an
act of Congress when they made him an oficer. Congress certinly has a
lot of power in war time.
In the army your not supposed to be able to use anything till you know
how its made. You dont know how to put on a gas mask till you know
whats in the tin box an who was the first fello to use it. You cant talk
over a fone till your able to sit down an make one out of an old cigar
box an a piece of balin wire.
I never knew so little about so much in my life. You sit here all day an
lissen to a fello tell you how if you multiply something by enuff other
things you can hit a Fritz in the stummick three miles away.
Everythings tricky about this gun. Insted of shootin where you want to
hit like a man you look at a thermometer an a barometer, add em

together an look up the result in a little pink almanak. That tells you
where to shoot. I dont like this mystick stuff. Frank and straitforward.
Thats me all over, Mable.
They just ishued us overseers caps an rapped leggins. Theres one good
thing about these overseers caps. You cant put them out of shape like
the felt hats cause they never had any shape to begin with. I cant say
much in favor of the rapped leggins tho for a fello that never had any
experience with first aid or nothin.
[Illustration: "THEY JUST ISHUED US OVERSEERS CAPS AN
RAPPED LEGGINS"]
I cant see any sense tho in ishuin close like a pictur puzzle. They might
just as well ishue your coat an pants in seckshuns an let you hook em
together every mornin.
I got to quit now. I was left behind to clean out the barracks an I hear
the battery comin in from drill so I got to hussle. Tell Archie to cheer
up about the war. When I come home hell be wearin so many wound
stripes hell be lookin like a zebra.
Yours till Archie gets a service stripe Bill
_Dere Mable:_
Theyve made me a door tender to a Soizant Cans. All Ive got to do is to
open the door an another fello puts in the