Samantha at Saratoga | Page 5

her to summer resorts, and winter hants of fashion.
No, old Mr. Abraham went to bed, and went to sleep for all of her.
And when they did once in a hundred years, or so, make up their minds
to move on a mile or so, how easy they traveled. Mr. Abraham didn't
have to lug off ten or twelve wagon loads of furniture to the Safe
Deposit Company, and spend weeks and weeks a settlin' his bisness, in
Western lands, and Northern mines, Southern railroads, and Eastern
wildcat stocks, to get ready to go. And Miss Abraham didn't have to
have a dozen dress-makers in the house for a month or two, and
messenger boys, and dry goods clerks, and have to stand and be fitted
for basks and polenays, and back drapery, and front drapery, and tea
gowns, and dinner gowns, and drivin' gowns, and mornin' gowns, and
evenin' gowns, and etectery, etcetery, etcetery.
No, all the preperations she had to make wuz to wrop her mantilly a
little closter round her, and all Mr. Abraham had to do wuz to gird up
his lions. That is what it sez. And I don't believe it would take much
time to gird up a few lions, it don't seem to me as if it would.
And when these few simple preperations had been made, they jest
histed up their tent and laid it acrost a camel, and moved on a mild or
two, walkin' afoot.
Why jest imagine if Miss Abraham had to travel with eight or ten big
Saratoga trunks, how could they have been got up onto that camel? It
couldn't lave been done. The camel would have died, and old Mr.
Abraham would also have expired a tryin' to lift 'em up. No, it was all
for the best.
And jest think on't, for all of these simple, stay to home ways, they
called themselves Pilgrims and Sojourners. Good land! What would
they have thought nowadays to see folks make nothin' of settin' off for
China, or Japan or Jerusalem before breakfast.
And what did they know of the hardships of civilization? Now to
sposen the case, sposen Miss Abraham had to live in New York winters,
and go to two or three big receptions every day, and to dinner parties,
and theatre parties, and operas and such like, evenin's, and receive and

return about three thousand calls, and be on more 'n a dozen charitable
boards (hard boards they be too, some on 'em) and lots of other projects
and enterprizes -- be on the go the hull winter, with a dress so tight she
couldn't breathe instead of her good loose robes, and instead of her
good comfortable sandals have her feet upon high-heeled shoes
pinchin' her corns almost unto distraction. And then to Washington to
go all through it agin, and more too, and Florida, and Cuba; and then to
the sea-shore and have it all over agin with sea bathin' added.
And then to the mountains, and all over agin with climbin' round added.
Then to Europe, with seas sickness, picture galleries, etc., added. And
so on home agin in the fall to begin it all over agin.
Why Miss Abraham would be so tuckered out before she went half
through with one season, that she would be a dead 4 mother.
And Mr. Abraham -- why one half hour down at the stock exchange
would have been too much for that good old creeter. The yells and cries,
and distracted movements of the crowd of Luker Gatherers there,
would have skairt him to death. He never would have lived to follow
Miss Abraham round from pillow to post through summer and winter
seasons -- he wouldn't have lived to waltz, or toboggen, or suffer other
civilized agonies. No, he would have been a dead patriark. And better
off so, I almost think.
Not but what I realize that civilization has its advantages. Not but what
I know that if Mr. Abraham wanted Miss Abraham to part his hair
straight, or clean off his phylackrity when she happened to be out a
pickin' up manny, he couldn't stand on one side of his tent and
telephone to bring her back, but had to yell at her.
And I realize fully that if one of his herd got strayed off into another
county, they hadn't no telegraf to head it off, but the old man had to
poke off through rain or sun, and hunt it up himself. And he couldn't set
down cross-legged in front of his tent in the mornin', and read what
happened on the other side of the world, the evenin' before.
And I know that if he wanted to set down some news, they had to kill a
sheep,