people persuade
themselves that what they wish to do is right.
At last there was no resisting the evidence of weariness. They were told
to go to bed; but even that welcome command was languidly obeyed.
Slowly they folded up their work, heavily they moved about, until at
length all was put away, and they trooped up the wide, dark staircase.
"Oh! how shall I get through five years of these terrible nights! in that
close room! and in that oppressive stillness! which lets every sound of
the thread be heard as it goes eternally backwards and forwards,"
sobbed out Ruth, as she threw herself on her bed, without even
undressing herself.
"Nay, Ruth, you know it won't be always as it has been to-night. We
often get to bed by ten o'clock, and by-and-by you won't mind the
closeness of the room. You're worn-out to-night, or you would not have
minded the sound of the needle; I never hear it. Come, let me unfasten
you," said Jenny.
"What is the use of undressing? We must be up again and at work in
three hours."
"And in those three hours you may get a great deal of rest, if you will
but undress yourself and fairly go to bed. Come, love."
Jenny's advice was not resisted; but before Ruth went to sleep she
said--
"Oh! I wish I was not so cross and impatient. I don't think I used to be."
"No, I am sure not. Most new girls get impatient at first; but it goes off,
and they don't care much for anything after a while. Poor child! she's
asleep already," said Jenny to herself.
She could not sleep or rest. The tightness at her side was worse than
usual. She almost thought she ought to mention it in her letters home;
but then she remembered the premium her father had struggled hard to
pay, and the large family, younger than herself, that had to be cared for,
and she determined to bear on, and trust that, when the warm weather
came, both the pain and the cough would go away. She would be
prudent about herself.
What was the matter with Ruth? She was crying in her sleep as if her
heart would break. Such agitated slumber could be no rest; so Jenny
wakened her.
"Ruth! Ruth!"
"Oh, Jenny!" said Ruth, sitting up in bed, and pushing back the masses
of hair that were heating her forehead, "I thought I saw mamma by the
side of the bed, coming as she used to do, to see if I were asleep and
comfortable; and when I tried to take hold of her, she went away and
left me alone--I don't know where; so strange!"
"It was only a dream; you know you'd been talking about her to me,
and you're feverish with sitting up late. Go to sleep again, and I'll watch,
and waken you if you seem uneasy."
"But you'll be so tired. Oh, dear! dear!" Ruth was asleep again, even
while she sighed.
Morning came, and though their rest had been short, the girls arose
refreshed.
"Miss Sutton, Miss Jennings, Miss Booth, and Miss Hilton, you will
see that you are ready to accompany me to the shire-hall by eight
o'clock."
One or two of the girls looked astonished, but the majority, having
anticipated the selection, and knowing from experience the unexpressed
rule by which it was made, received it with the sullen indifference
which had become their feeling with regard to most events--a deadened
sense of life, consequent upon their unnatural mode of existence, their
sedentary days, and their frequent nights of late watching.
But to Ruth it was inexplicable. She had yawned, and loitered, and
looked off at the beautiful panel, and lost herself in thoughts of home,
until she fully expected the reprimand which at any other time she
would have been sure to receive, and now, to her surprise, she was
singled out as one of the most diligent!
Much as she longed for the delight of seeing the noble shire-hall--the
boast of the county--and of catching glimpses of the dancers, and
hearing the band; much as she longed for some variety to the dull,
monotonous life she was leading, she could not feel happy to accept a
privilege, granted, as she believed, in ignorance of the real state of the
case; so she startled her companions by rising abruptly and going up to
Mrs. Mason, who was finishing a dress which ought to have been sent
home two hours before--
"If you please, Mrs. Mason, I was not one of the most diligent; I am
afraid--I believe--I was not diligent at all. I was very tired; and I could
not help thinking, and, when I think, I can't attend to my work." She
stopped,
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