Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife | Page 9

Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher
I warrant ye he is busie in the celler Amongst his fellow servants, or asleep, Till your command awake him.
[Enter Leon.]
Margarita:
'Tis well Altea. It should be so, my ward I must preserve him. Who sent for him, how dare he come uncall'd for, His bonnet on too?
Altea:
Sure he sees you not.
Margarita:
How scornfully he looks!
Leon:
Are all the chambers Deckt and adorn'd thus for my Ladies pleasure? New hangings every hour for entertainment, And new plate bought, new Jewels to give lustre?
Servant:
They are, and yet there must be more and richer, It is her will.
Leon:
Hum, is it so? 'tis excellent, It is her will too, to have feasts and banquets, Revells and masques.
Servant:
She ever lov'd 'em dearly, And we shall have the bravest house kept now Sir, I must not call ye master she has warn'd me, Nor must not put my hat off to ye.
Leon:
'Tis no fashion, What though I be her husband, I am your fellow, I may cut first.
Servant:
That's as you shall deserve Sir.
Leon:
And when I lye with her.
Servant:
May be I'le light ye, On the same point you may doe me that service.
[Enter 1 Lady.]
1 Lady:
Madam, the Duke Medina with some Captains Will come to dinner, and have sent rare wine, And their best services.
Margarita:
They shall be welcom, 194] See all be ready in the noblest fashion, The house perfum'd, now I shall take my pleasure, And not my neighbour Justice maunder at me. Go, get your best cloths on, but till I call ye, Be sure you be not seen, dine with the Gentlewomen, And behave your self cleanly Sir, 'tis for my credit.
[Enter 2 Lady.]
2 Lady:
Madam, the Lady Julia.
Leon:
That's a bawd, A three pil'd bawd, bawd major to the army.
2 Lady:
Has brought her coach to wait upon your Ladiship, And to be inform'd if you will take the air this morning.
Leon:
The neat air of her nunnery.
Margarita:
Tell her no, i'th' afternoon I'le call on her.
2 Lady:
I will Madam. [Exit.
Margarita:
Why are not you gone to prepare your self, May be you shall be sewer to the fire course, A portly presence, Altea he looks lean, 'Tis a wash knave, he will not keep his flesh well.
Altea:
A willing, Madam, one that needs no spurring.
Leon:
Faith madam, in my little understanding, You had better entertain your honest neighbours, Your friends about ye, that may speak well of ye, And give a worthy mention of your bounty.
Margarita:
How now, what's this?
Leon:
'Tis only to perswade ye, Courtiers are but tickle things to deal withal, A kind of march-pane men that will not last Madam, An egge and pepper goes farther than their potions, And in a well built body, a poor parsnip Will play his prize above their strong potabiles.
Margarita:
The fellow's mad.
Leon:
He that shall counsel Ladies, That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes, Is either mad, or drunk, let him speak Gospel.
Altea:
He breaks out modestly.
Leon:
Pray ye be not angry, My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye, What you'l find true. 195]
Margarita:
Thou darest not talk.
Leon:
Not much Madam, You have a tye upon your servants tongue, He dares not be so bold as reason bids him, 'Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper. Ne're look so stern upon me, I am your Husband, But what are Husbands? read the new worlds wonders, Such Husbands as this monstrous world produces, And you will scarce find such deformities, They are shadows to conceal your venial vertues, Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions, Balls that lye by you, to wash out your stains, And bills nail'd up with horn before your stories, To rent out last.
Margarita:
Do you hear him talk?
Leon:
I have done Madam, An oxe once spoke, as learned men deliver, Shortly I shall be such, then I'le speak wonders, Till when I tye my self to my obedience.
[Exit.
Margarita:
First I'le unty my self, did you mark the Gentleman, How boldly and how sawcily he talk'd, And how unlike the lump I took him for, The piece of ignorant dow, he stood up to me And mated my commands, this was your providence, Your wisdom, to elect this Gentleman, Your excellent forecast in the man, your knowledge, What think ye now?
Altea:
I think him an Asse still, This boldness some of your people have blown Into him, this wisdom too with strong wine, 'Tis a Tyrant, and a Philosopher also, and finds Out reasons.
Margarita:
I'le have my celler lockt, no school kept there, Nor no discovery. I'le turn my drunkards, Such as are understanding in their draughts, And dispute learnedly the whyes and wherefores, To grass immediatly, I'le keep all fools, Sober or drunk, still fools, that shall know nothing, Nothing belongs to mankind, but obedience, And such a hand I'le keep over this Husband. 196]
Altea:
He will fall again, my life he cryes by this time, Keep him from drink, he has a high constitution.
[Enter Leon.]
Leon:
Shall I
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