Routledges Manual of Etiquette | Page 6

"Madam." In general, however, a nobleman or lady of high rank should only be addressed as you would address any other gentleman or lady. The Prince of Wales himself is only styled "Sir" in conversation, and the Queen "Madam."
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V.--NOTES OF INVITATION, &C.
Notes of invitation and acceptance are written in the third person and the simplest style. The old-fashioned preliminary of "presenting compliments" is discontinued by the most elegant letter writers.
All notes of invitation are now issued in the name of the mistress of the house only, as follows:--
"Mrs. Norman requests the honour of Sir George and Lady Thurlow's company at an evening party, on Monday, 14th of June."
Others prefer the subjoined form, which is purchaseable ready printed upon either cards or note paper, with blanks for names or dates:--
"Mrs. Norman, "At home, "Monday evening, June 14th inst."
An "At home" is, however, considered somewhat less stately than an evening party, and partakes more of the character of a conversazione.
The reply to a note of invitation should be couched as follows:--
"Mr. Berkeley has much pleasure in accepting Mrs. Norman's polite invitation for Monday evening, June the 14th instant."
Never "avail" yourself of an invitation. Above all, never speak or write of an invitation as "an invite." It is neither good breeding nor good English.
Notes of invitation and reply should be written on small paper of the best quality, and enclosed in envelopes to correspond.
Note paper of the most dainty and fastidious kind may be used by a lady with propriety and elegance, but only when she is writing to her friends and equals. Business letters or letters to her tradespeople should be written on plain paper, and enclosed either in an adhesive envelope, or sealed with red wax.
Never omit the address and date from any letter, whether of business or friendship.
Letters in the first person addressed to strangers should begin with "Sir," or "Madam," and end with "I have the honour to be your very obedient servant." Some object to this form of words from a mistaken sense of pride; but it is merely a form, and, rightly apprehended, evinces a "proud humility," which implies more condescension than a less formal phrase.
At the end of your letter, at some little distance below your signature, and in the left corner of your paper, write the name of the person to whom your letter is addressed; as "Lady Dalhousie," or "Edward Munroe, Esquire."
It is more polite to write Esquire at full length than to curtail it to Esq.
In writing to persons much your superior or inferior, use as few words as possible. In the former case, to take up much of a great man's time is to take a liberty; in the latter, to be diffuse is to be too familiar. It is only in familiar correspondence that long letters are permissible.
In writing to a tradesman, begin your letter by addressing him by name, as--
"Mr. Jones,--Sir."
A letter thus begun may, with propriety, be ended with--
"Sir, yours truly."
Letters to persons whom you meet frequently in society, without having arrived at intimacy, may commence with "Dear Madam," and end with "I am, dear Madam, yours very truly."
Letters commencing "My dear Madam," addressed to persons whom you appreciate, and with whom you are on friendly terms, may end with "I am, my dear Madam, yours very faithfully," or "yours very sincerely."
To be prompt in replying to a letter is to be polite.
Lady correspondents are too apt to over-emphasize in their letter-writing, and in general evince a sad disregard of the laws of punctuation. We would respectfully suggest that a comma is not designed to answer every purpose, and that the underlining of every second or third word adds nothing to the eloquence or clearness of a letter, however certain it may be to provoke an unflattering smile upon the lips of the reader.
All letters must be prepaid.
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VI.--THE PROMENADE.
In England, a lady may accept the arm of a gentleman with whom she is walking, even though he be only an acquaintance. This is not the case either in America or on the Continent. There a lady can take the arm of no gentleman who is not either her husband, lover, or near relative.
If a lady has been making purchases during her walk, she may permit the gentleman who accompanies her to carry any small, parcel that she may have in her own hand; but she should not burthen him with more than one under any circumstances whatever.
Two ladies may without any impropriety take each one arm of a single cavalier; but one lady cannot, with either grace or the sanction of custom take the arms of two gentlemen at the same time.
When a lady is walking with a gentleman in a park, or public garden, or through the rooms of an