Roughing it De Luxe

Roughing it De Luxe, by Irvin S. Cobb

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Title: Roughing it De Luxe
Author: Irvin S. Cobb
Illustrator: John T. McCutcheon
Release Date: October 6, 2006 [EBook #19479]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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Roughing It De Luxe By Irvin S. Cobb

[Illustration: BY COMMON CONSENT WE HAD NAMED THEM CLARENCE AND CLARICE]

Roughing It De Luxe By Irvin S. Cobb
Author of "Back Home," "The Escape of Mr. Trimm," "Cobb's Anatomy," "Cobb's Bill of Fare," etc.
Illustrated by John T. McCutcheon
[Illustration]
New York George H. Doran Company

COPYRIGHT, 1913, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
COPYRIGHT, 1914, BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY

TO GEORGE H. DORAN, ESQ. MY FRIEND AND STILL MY PUBLISHER; MY PUBLISHER AND STILL MY FRIEND

THE TIME TABLE
PAGE A PILGRIM CANONIZED 15 RABID AND HIS FRIENDS 55 HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CLIMATE? 97 IN THE HAUNT OF THE NATIVE SON 135 LOOKING FOR LO 175

ILLUSTRATIONS
PAGE By common consent we had named them Clarence and Clarice Frontispiece Evidently he believed the conspiracy against him was widespread 21 There was not a turkey trotter in the bunch 35 He'd garner in some fellows that wasn't sheep-herders 61 Because a man has a soul is no reason he shouldn't have an appetite 73 He was a regular moving picture cowboy and gave general satisfaction 87 The boy who sells you a paper and the youth who blackens your shoes both show solicitude 101 Out from under a rock somewhere will crawl a real estate agent 115 He felt that he was properly dressed for the time, the place and the occasion 127 Even the place where the turkey trot originated was trotless and quiet 143 The woman nearest the wall has on her furs--it is always cool in the shade 155 It's a great thing out there to be a native son 169 Each Navajo squaw weaves on an average nine thousand blankets a year 179 As she leveled the lens a yell went up from somewhere 193 As the occupants spilled sprawlingly through the gap, a front tire exploded with a loud report 207

A PILGRIM CANONIZED
[Illustration]
A Pilgrim Canonized
IT is generally conceded that the Grand Ca?on of Arizona beggars description. I shall therefore endeavor to refrain from doing so. I realize that this is going to be a considerable contract. Nearly everybody, on taking a first look at the Grand Ca?on, comes right out and admits its wonders are absolutely indescribable--and then proceeds to write anywhere from two thousand to fifty thousand words, giving the full details. Speaking personally, I wish to say that I do not know anybody who has yet succeeded in getting away with the job.
In the old days when he was doing the literature for the Barnum show, Tody Hamilton would have made the best nominee I can think of. Remember, don't you, how when Tody started in to write about the elephant quadrille you had to turn over to the next page to find the verb? And almost any one of those young fellows who write advertising folders for the railroads would gladly tackle the assignment; in fact, some of them already have--but not with any tumultuous success.
In the presence of the Grand Ca?on, language just simply fails you and all the parts of speech go dead lame. When the Creator made it He failed to make a word to cover it. To that extent the thing is incomplete. If ever I run across a person who can put down on paper what the Grand Ca?on looks like, that party will be my choice to do the story when the Crack of Doom occurs. I can close my eyes now and see the headlines: Judgment Day a Complete Success! Replete with Incident and Abounding in Surprises--Many Wealthy Families Disappointed--Full Particulars from our Special Correspondent on the Spot!
Starting out from Chicago on the Santa F��, we had a full trainload. We came from everywhere: from peaceful New England towns full of elm trees and oldline Republicans; from the Middle States; and from the land of chewing tobacco, prominent Adam's apples and hot biscuits--down where the r is silent, as in No'th Ca'lina. And all of us--Northerners, Southerners, Easterners alike--were actuated by a common purpose--we were going West to see the country and rough it--rough it on overland trains better equipped and more luxurious than any to be found in the East; rough it at ten-dollar-a-day hotels; rough it by touring