Rogers-isms | Page 3

thing in the papers about him landing, Just about chucked that guy overboard,
=Took a republican along to argue with on the way over,=
=They will about make him Wait on the Peace Table,=
See where Admiral Dr Grayson stood his Maiden voyage well,
Mr Creel went along to suppress any SCANDAL that may crop up
On arriving they found they had forgotten something after searching they found it was the Industrial Committee,
Now Mr Barney Baruch is going in case we land a few Shekels, why Barney will count up for us,
Also Mr Garfield "said he wasent going to stay in this Country and FREEZE another winter,"
If they keep on sending for them, Talk about getting the boys back, it will take a couple of years to get all these Peace Guys back,
We may not have had as many Nations in the war as these other Nations but we are going to Swamp them at the Peace Table,
Col House was there to meet the Boat in a listening Capacity,
Lot of men have fought their way into fame and talked their way into fame but Col House is the only man that ever just LISTENED HIMSELF IN,
After looking over Paris the troop went to London, Can you imagine how sore these Republicans got when they read about a Democrat sleeping in Buckingham Palace,
Kaiser and Czar used to kid King George and tell him he dident have any power He can get back at them now and say "No I havent got much power but I am still Kinging aint I,"
Pres left London passed through Paris got an earfull from Col House and played a week of one Night stands through Italy,
He had a letter of recomendation from Caruso so he met some of the best people in Italy,
Every time the Pres wanted applause in his speeches in Italy he would mention GARIBALDI which sounds same in English as Italian,
Belgium wanted to book him there but the Pres got wise that they were holding so many Banquets they were trying to wear him out before the Peace Feast started,
King of Italy also the King of England have agreed with him up to now But unfortunately they neither one will be at the Peace signing,
England is orally in accord but there has been nothing signed,
They are a little late starting as they were waiting to find someone who knew what freedom of the Seas mean,
NOW IF HE CAN ONLY HANDLE THAT MEETING AS HE DOES CONGRESS WE NEED HAVE NO FEAR OF THE RESULT,
You know a lot of people think he is liable to be too easy with them dont you believe it he can be pretty stern when he wants to remember last fall when he sent Germany their Questionaire, Said GIVE ME YOUR REAL NAME AND PERMANENT ADDRESS,
Lets hope the Turkish Deligation dont bring all their WIVES or we never will get PEACE,
And lets make those Russians shave before they sign up we want to know who we are dealing with,
If Ireland sends a deligation I can hear France say bring us back war,
Now the Pres says we are going to recognize the CZECHO SLOVAKS we may recognize them but we will never pronounce them,
That Nation has caused Readers more trouble than any other one in war,
They cant make the Peace terms much worse than those Armistace terms for they read like a 2nd mortgage, Party of the second part has no more chance than a Democrat in the next Congress,
We are handicapped at this meeting, England and France both have their Prime Ministers there while BILLY SUNDAY dident go for us,
Each Nation is supposed to share in the Peace terms according to what they have done in the war, Holland gets the KAISER, Mexico the CROWN PRINCE,
Now the Pres has to get back here before Mar 1st when the Country goes in into the hands of the Republicans or they are liable to want to charge him a tarriff to get in again,
OF COURSE WE DONT RECEIVE MUCH NEWS OF THE PEACE CONFERENCE. FIRST FEW WEEKS THEY ARE ALL JUST COMPLIMENTING EACH OTHER. WAIT TILL THEY GO TO DIVIDE UP SOMETHING. (What a truth that turned out to be)
Well by this time Congress was getting pretty rough so Pres W grabbed his boat and commuted back home,
Said I think I will land in BOSTON the old Pilgrim Fathers had pretty fair luck, and nobody has ever landed there since,
Germany couldent figure out how America could get troops over there and get them trained so quick they dident know that in our manual there is nothing about RETREATING and when you only got to teach an Army to go one way you can do it in half the time,
I feel pretty proud over that last little gag, As I used it before Pres Wilson in Washington