Rinkitink In Oz | Page 9

fine arts. I had just scolded severely my Lord High
Chancellor for coming to breakfast without combing his eyebrows, and
was so sad and regretful at having hurt the poor man's feelings that I
decided to shut myself up in my own room and study the scroll until I
knew how to be good -- hee, heek, keek, eek, eek! --to be good! Clever
idea, that, wasn't it? Mighty clever! And I issued a decree that no one
should enter my room, under pain of my royal displeasure, until I was
ready to come out. They're awfully afraid of my royal displeasure,
although not a bit afraid of me. Then I put the parchment in my pocket
and escaped through the back door to my boat -- and here I am. Oo,
hoo-hoo, keek-eek! Imagine the fuss there would be in Gilgad if my
subjects knew where I am this very minute!"
"I would like to see that parchment," said the solemn-eyed Prince Inga,
"for if it indeed teaches one to be good it must be worth its weight in
pearls."
"Oh, it's a fine essay," said Rinkitink, "and beautifully written with a
goosequill. Listen to this: You'll enjoy it -- tee, hee, hee! -- enjoy it."
He took from his pocket a scroll of parchment tied with a black ribbon,
and having carefully unrolled it, he proceeded to read as follows:
"'A Good Man is One who is Never Bad.' How's that, eh? Fine thought,
what? 'Therefore, in order to be Good, you must avoid those Things
which are Evil.' Oh, hoo-hoo-hoo! -- how clever! When I get back I
shall make the man who wrote that a royal hippolorum, for, beyond
question, he is the wisest man in my kingdom -as he has often told me
himself." With this, Rinkitink lay back in his chair and chuckled his
queer chuckle until he coughed, and coughed until he choked and
choked until he sneezed. And he wrinkled his face in such a jolly, droll
way that few could keep from laughing with him, and even the good
Queen was forced to titter behind her fan.
When Rinkitink had recovered from his fit of laughter and had wiped
his eyes upon a fine lace handkerchief, Prince Inga said to him:
"The parchment speaks truly."

"Yes, it is true beyond doubt," answered Rinkitink, "and if I could
persuade Bilbil to read it he would be a much better goat than he is now.
Here is another selection: 'To avoid saying Unpleasant Things, always
Speak Agreeably.' That would hit Bilbil, to a dot. And here is one that
applies to you, my Prince: 'Good Children are seldom punished, for the
reason that they deserve no punishment.' Now, I think that is neatly put,
and shows the author to be a deep thinker. But the advice that has
impressed me the most is in the following paragraph: 'You may not find
it as Pleasant to be Good as it is to be Bad, but Other People will find it
more Pleasant.' Haw-hoo-ho! keek-eek! 'Other people will find it more
pleasant!' -- hee, hee, heek, keek! -- 'more pleasant.' Dear me -- dear me!
Therein lies a noble incentive to be good, and whenever I get time I'm
surely going to try it."
Then he wiped his eyes again with the lace handkerchief and, suddenly
remembering his dinner, seized his knife and fork and began eating.


Chapter Three
The Warriors from the North
King Rinkitink was so much pleased with the Island of Pingaree that he
continued his stay day after day and week after week, eating good
dinners, talking with King Kitticut and sleeping. Once in a while he
would read from his scroll. "For," said he, "whenever I return home,
my subjects will be anxious to know if I have learned 'How to be
Good,' and I must not disappoint them."
The twenty rowers lived on the small end of the island, with the pearl
fishers, and seemed not to care whether they ever returned to the
Kingdom of Rinkitink or not. Bilbil the goat wandered over the grassy
slopes, or among the trees, and passed his days exactly as he pleased.
His master seldom cared to ride him. Bilbil was a rare curiosity to the
islanders, but since there was little pleasure in talking with the goat

they kept away from him. This pleased the creature, who seemed well
satisfied to be left to his own devices.
Once Prince Inga, wishing to be courteous, walked up to the goat and
said: "Good morning, Bilbil."
"It isn't a good morning," answered Bilbil grumpily. "It is cloudy and
damp, and looks like rain."
"I hope you are contented in our kingdom," continued the boy, politely
ignoring the other's harsh words.
"I'm not," said