Rhymes of the East and Re-collected Verses | Page 5

ocean?_
_ Divil a bit!_
_Return, return then O soldiers,?Return, you that have been discharged with pensions, as time-expired
men, or as incorrigible and worthless,?Return, for it is the dawn, and it is calling to you as it comes up
from China,?Though why from China do you ask me??Then ask me another!_
A BALLAD OF BUTTONRY
_Clothes and the Man I sing._ Reformers, note?These of the Subaltern who owned a Coat.
He was what veterans miscall, for short,?By that objectionable term, a wart:[2]
The Coat an item of the 'sealed' attire?Wrung from his helpless but reluctant sire;
Also the tails were long; and, for the pride?Thereof, were buttons on the after-side;
Majestic orbs, whose gilded obverse bore?The bossy symbol of his future corps.
The youth, ere sailing for a distant land,?Did, in the interval, receive command
[Footnote 2: A last-joined young officer.--_Military Definitions._]
To join a 'Course,' where men of grave repute?Instruct the young idea how to shoot.
Thither he sped, and on the opening day?Rose, and, empanoplied in brave array,
(Ample of flowing skirt, and with great craft?And pomp of blazoned buttonry abaft)
Won to the mess, and preened his fledgling plumes?Both in the breakfast and the ante-rooms.
Awhile he moved in rapture, and awhile?Thrilled in the old, inevitable style
To that stern joy which youthful warriors feel?In wearing garments worthy of their zeal;
Then came the seneschal upon the scenes,?And knocked his infant pride to smithereens.
For out, alack! the Fathers of the mess?Strictly prohibited that form of dress,
Being by sad experience led to find?Disaster in the buttonry behind,
Which tore and scratched the leather-cushioned chairs,?And cost a perfect fortune in repairs!
It was a crushing blow. That Subaltern?Discovered that he had a lot to learn;
Removed his Coat, and laid it, weeping, in?Its long sarcophagus of beaten tin:
Buried it deep, and drew it thence no more;?Finished his Course, and sought an alien shore.

So runs the tale. I had it from the youth?Himself, and I suppose he told the truth.
(The words alone are mine; I need but hint?That his were too emotional for print.)
And as in India, though the chairs are hard,?His Coat--delicious irony--is barred;
Being designed for cooler zones, and not?For one inadequately known as 'hot';
And, furthermore, as bold Sir Fashion brings?Changes, yea, even to the soldier's things:
He questions if the Coat were worth the price,?Seeing that he will hardly wear it twice.
THE IRON HAND
'The Government of India _has been pleased_ to sanction the infliction of a fine of ..., etc.'
To him that reads with careless eyes
My present theme affords?But little scope for enterprise
In buttering one's lords:?Fines, he would urge, have always bulked
Largely to Those that rule,?For, plainly, every man They mulct
Contributes to the pool.
But when in ages dead and gone
Our fathers fought with Sin,?However hard they laid it on,
They didn't rub it in;?While These not only bring to bear
Their dark prerogatives,?But diabolically air
The pleasure that it gives!
Here is the Iron Hand that builds
Our realms beyond the sea;?No _suaviter in modo_ gilds
Their _fortiter in re_;?Here is no washy velvet glove
To pad the Fist of Fear--?None of your guiding charms of Love--
None of your hogwash here!
No. From Their thrones amid the stars
They glower athwart the land?Implacable, with 'eye like Mars
To threaten and command.'?Too cold, too truculent, to stay
The awful bolt They fling,?They make no bones about it--They
Are _pleased_ to do this thing!
Blind to the victim's mask of woe,
Deaf to his poignant howls,?No pity stirs Their bosoms, no
Reluctance wrings Their bow'ls!?By prompt and ready cash alone
Their wrath shall be appeased?Who pile it on like gods, and own,
Like men, to being pleased.
THE WOOIN' O' TUMMAS
_After R. B._
Tummas Katt cam' roun' to woo,
Ha, ha, the wooin' o't;?Lichtly sang ta lang nicht thro',
Ha, ha, the mewin' o't;?Tabbie, winsome, tim'rous beast,?Speakit: 'Tummas, hand tha' weist!?Girt auld Tummas 'gan inseest;
Ha, ha, the doin' o't!
Tabbie laucht, an' brawly fleired,
Ha, ha, the fleirin' o't;?Tummas,--ech! but Tummas speired
Ha, ha, the speirin' o't;?Sic an awesome, fearfu' screep,?Wakin' a' aroun' frae sleep;?Fegs, it gar'd the Gudeman weep!
Ha, ha, the hearin' o't!
Quoth the Gudeman: 'Dairm his een!'
Ha, ha, the swearin' o't;?'Muckle fasht was I yestreen,
A' thro' the bearin' o't!?Ere the sonsie moon was bricht,?Clean awa' till mornin' licht,?Mickle sleep was mine the nicht;
Ha, ha, the wearin' o't!'
'Where are noo ma booties twa?
Ha, ha, the stoppin' o't;?'Tis mysel' shall gar him fa';
Ha, ha, the coppin' o't!?'Gin a bootie, strang an' stoot,?Sneckit Tummas roun' ta snoot,?Winna Tummas gang frae oot?
Ha, ha, the droppin' o't!'
Swuft the pawky booties came,
Ha, ha, the flittin' o't:?Tummas scraught, an' lit for hame,
Ha, ha, the spittin' o't;?Lauchit Tabbs to see him fa';?Leapit frae ta gairden wa';?Quoth the Gudeman: 'Dairm it a'!
What price the hittin' o't?'
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
Christmas comes but once a year.?Though by nature snappy,?Let us, as we may, appear?Merry, friend, and happy!?Buckle to; and when you meet your?Thunderstricken fellow-creature,?Show the broad, indulgent smile?Of th' ingenuous crocodile!?Look as if you'd backed a winner!?Laugh, you miserable sinner!
Brother, Christmas Day has come.?Can't you seek for inspiration?in the turkey, plumpudding,?beef, and mince-pie??Brave it out, and tho'