Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: In Mizzoura | Page 9

full beard. He wears a leather apron and has his sleeves rolled up._
JOE. Dave says, ma, that--
MRS. VERNON. Yes, here it is. [_Hands glass of beer._] Nearly dead, Joe?
JOE. [_Smiling._] Oh, no--but I kin stand this.
KATE. Is there any objection to our spending the evening at Mrs. Woods?
MRS. VERNON. Now, what's the attraction there?
KATE. She has a piano.
MRS. VERNON. Yes, with two teeth broke out of it. Why don't you ever play on the melodeon? [_Pointing to it._
JOE. Yes, after Jim givin' it to you.
MRS. VERNON. [_Clearing up the ironing._] I wouldn't treat a dog the way you treat Jim Radburn, Kate.
KATE silent at doorway.
JOE. [_At the wash-basin on the bench at back wall._] Ma, where's the soap?
MRS. VERNON. I must a-left it in the dish-pan.
JOE _gets it and begins washing in tin basin._
JOE. [_Calling through sputter._] Dave!
DAVE. [_Off._] Yes, sir.
JOE. [_At door of shop._] Might as well shut up.
DAVE. All right.
BOLLINGER. [_Outside to the left._] Good-evening, Katie.
KATE. Good-evening, Colonel.
BOLLINGER. Rain seems to let up. Where's pa? [_Appears window._
JOE. [_Looking up from the basin._] Hello, Tom.
BOLLINGER. Evening, Joe--Mrs. Vernon--Hello, Lizbeth.
LIZBETH. [_Again in the rocker._] Hello, Colonel.
BOLLINGER. Jis' through?
JOE. Been puttin' in a little overtime.
BOLLINGER. Reckon you'll have another job.
JOE. How's that?
BOLLINGER. Louisiana stage bust a tire on the near fore-wheel to-night.
JOE. That's so? Look out--jus' a minute. [BOLLINGER _steps aside;_ JOE _throws water out of the window._] There, ma--don't say I lost it now. [_Throws soap back into dish-pan._] How'd she come to do that?
BOLLINGER. Too big a load, I guess--then the rain's cut up the road so, and she were stuck in a rut, an' all of 'em pryin' at her with fence-rails.
JOE. Somethin' had to come.
BOLLINGER. Ye-ep.
MRS. VERNON. [_Sits at table and fans._] Won't you come in?
BOLLINGER. No, thank you. Too hot. Down to Louisiana on business--sweat clean through two paper collars. This'n's getting mealy. [_He wipes his neck._
JOE. 'J-ever see such weather. [Punches LIZBETH _to get out of rocker; sits in her place._ LIZBETH _goes to the melodeon stool._
BOLLINGER. Not since I was born. I hope the blamed rain's over. All passenger trains holdin' down to eight mile an hour 'tween St. Charles and Jonesburg on the Wabash on 'count of the wash-outs.
JOE. Why don't they ballast that air track?
BOLLINGER. Too stingy, I reckon. Say, Joe, if you git through the convention, and they send you up to Jeff City, you'll have to jump on the corporations.
JOE. Well, how do things look for the convention?
BOLLINGER. Well, down Louisiana way looks about six and half a dozen. You wouldn't have any trouble at all, if we could get Radburn out o' the race.
JOE. Well, I ain't got no right to ask him to do that.
KATE. [_From the doorway._] Do you mean, Colonel, that Mr. Radburn's following will be a serious opposition to father's nomination?
BOLLINGER. Well, it looks that way, Kate.
KATE. Is there a chance of Mr. Radburn's getting the nomination?
BOLLINGER. Yes, I should say it was a stand-off atween him an' the Guv'nor, but I'm a-rootin' for your pa.
MRS. VERNON. Well, I can't see what right Jim Radburn has got to be as strong with the Democracy as Joe Vernon. [_Crosses to dish-pan._
JOE. You can't say nothin' against Jim, ma.
MRS. VERNON. I ain't. I'm just askin'.
BOLLINGER. Well, you see Jim's bein' sheriff four terms, an' never shootin' anybody--
MRS. VERNON. Why, he's shot fifty!
BOLLINGER. Well, I meant never killin' nobody, has naturally endeared him to the peaceable element in the community. Jim has always said, and stuck to it, that a sheriff who couldn't wing a prisoner without killin' him, was a nuisance--and you take his record, and go clean through it, you'll find out this one thing. If a man was runnin', Jim fetched him in the leg. If he pulled a gun on him, Jim smashed that hand. And he says, "You ain't got a right to kill another man, unless that man draws two guns at the same time."
JOE. Yes, I reckon Jim's the gamest we ever had.
BOLLINGER. He came up on the stage to-night from Louisiana.
JOE. Was he "'lectioneering" down there?
BOLLINGER. No, I ain't heerd of him makin' no canvass. He was helpin' me to collect testimony.
MRS. VERNON. Testimony? What fur?
BOLLINGER. Sam Fowler. You know that Express Co. is holdin' him prisoner yet?
JOE. Thought you was goin' to get a habus corpus?
BOLLINGER. Well, I was; only I went to St. Louis yesterday to see Sam. He's all right. They've got 'im in a comfortable room at the Southern Hotel, an' they are tryin' to make him confess that he stood in with the express robber. He's livin' on the fat of the land, so I told him to stick it out as long as the company did, 'cause the longer they hold him, the more damages we'll get for false imprisonment. So Jim Radburn an'