Remarks

Remarks, by Bill Nye

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Title: Remarks
Author: Bill Nye
Release Date: June, 2005 [EBook #8220] [Yes, we are more than one
year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on July 3, 2003]
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Language: English
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REMARKS
By BILL NYE.
(EDGAR W. NYE.)
Ah Sin was his name;
And I shall not deny,
In regard to the same,
What the name might imply:
But his smile it was pensive and childlike,
As I frequent remarked to Bill Nye.
--Bret Harte.
With over one hundred and fifty illustrations, by J.H. SMITH.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: Bill Nye]

DIRECTIONS.
This book is not designed specially for any one class of people. It is for
all. It is a universal repository of thought. Some of my best thoughts are
contained in this book. Whenever I would think a thought that I thought
had better remain unthought, I would omit it from this book. For that
reason the book is not so large as I had intended. When a man coldly
and dispassionately goes at it to eradicate from his work all that may
not come up to his standard of merit, he can make a large volume
shrink till it is no thicker than the bank book of an outspoken
clergyman.
This is the fourth book that I have published in response to the
clamorous appeals of the public. Whenever the public got to clamoring
too loudly for a new book from me and it got so noisy that I could not
ignore it any more, I would issue another volume. The first was a red
book, succeeded by a dark blue volume, after which I published a green
book, all of which were kindly received by the American people, and,
under the present yielding system of international copyright, greedily
snapped up by some of the tottering dynasties.
But I had long hoped to publish a larger, better and, if possible, a
redder book than the first; one that would contain my better thoughts,
thoughts that I had thought when I was feeling well; thoughts that I had
emitted while my thinker was rearing up on its hind feet, if I may be
allowed that term; thoughts that sprang forth with a wild whoop and
demanded recognition.
This book is the result of that hope and that wish. It is my greatest and
best book. It is the one that will live for weeks after other books have
passed away. Even to those who cannot read, it will come like a
benison when there is no benison in the house. To the ignorant, the
pictures will be pleasing. The wise will revel in its wisdom, and the
housekeeper will find that with it she may easily emphasize a statement
or kill a cockroach.
The range of subjects treated in this book is wonderful, even to me. It is
a library of universal knowledge, and the facts contained in it are

different from any other facts now in use. I have carefully guarded, all
the way through, against using hackneyed and moth-eaten facts. As a
result, I am able to come before the people with a set of new and
attractive statements, so fresh and so crisp that an unkind word would
wither them in a moment.
I believe there is nothing more to add, except that I most heartily
endorse the book. It has been carefully read over by the proof-reader
and myself, so we do not ask the public to do anything that we were not
willing to do ourselves.
I cannot be responsible for the board of orphans whose parents read this
book and leave their children in destitute circumstances.
Bill Nye

CONTENTS.
About Geology
About Portraits
A Bright Future for Pugilism
Absent