Reginald | Page 3

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This etext was transcribed by David Price, email
[email protected], from the 1911 Methuen & Co. edition.
Proofing was by Margaret Price.

REGINALD
by Saki (H. H. Munro)

Contents:
Reginald Reginald on Christmas Presents Reginald on the Academy
Reginald at the Theatre Reginald's Peace Poem Reginald's Choir Treat
Reginald on Worries Reginald on House-Parties Reginald at the
Carlton Reginald on Besetting Sins Reginald's Drama Reginald on
Tariffs Reginald's Christmas Revel Reginald's Rubaiyat The Innocence
of Reginald

REGINALD

I did it--I who should have known better. I persuaded Reginald to go to
the McKillops' garden-party against his will.
We all make mistakes occasionally.
"They know you're here, and they'll think it so funny if you don't go.
And I want particularly to be in with Mrs. McKillop just now."
"I know, you want one of her smoke Persian kittens as a prospective
wife for Wumples--or a husband, is it?" (Reginald has a magnificent
scorn for details, other than sartorial.) "And I am expected to undergo
social martyrdom to suit the connubial exigencies" -
"Reginald! It's nothing of the kind, only I'm sure Mrs. McKillop Would
be pleased if I brought you. Young men of your brilliant attractions are
rather at a premium at her garden-parties."
"Should be at a premium in heaven," remarked Reginald complacently.
"There will be very few of you there, if that is what you mean. But
seriously, there won't be any great strain upon your powers of
endurance; I promise you that you shan't have to play croquet, or talk to
the Archdeacon's wife, or do anything that is likely to bring on physical
prostration. You can just wear your sweetest clothes and moderately
amiable expression, and eat chocolate-creams with the appetite of a
blase parrot. Nothing more is demanded of you."
Reginald shut his eyes. "There will be the exhaustingly up- to-date
young women who will ask me if I have seen San Toy: a less
progressive grade who will yearn to hear about the Diamond
Jubilee--the historic event, not the horse. With a little encouragement,
they will inquire if I saw the Allies march into Paris. Why are women
so fond of raking up the past? They're as bad as tailors, who invariably
remember what you owe them for a suit long after you've ceased to
wear it."
"I'll order lunch for one o'clock; that will give you two and a half hours

to dress in."
Reginald puckered his brow into a tortured frown, and I