Red Saunders Pets and Other Critters

Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters, by

Henry Wallace Phillips This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters
Author: Henry Wallace Phillips
Release Date: September 13, 2006 [EBook #19265]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RED SAUNDERS' PETS AND OTHER ***

Produced by Al Haines

[Frontispiece: He was a lovely pet (missing from book)]

Red Saunders' Pets
And Other Critters
By
Henry Wallace Phillips

Author of
Red Saunders and Mr. Scraggs

Illustrated

New York
McClure, Phillips & Co.
Mcmvi

Copyright, 1906, by
McCLURE, PHILLIPS & CO.
Published, May, 1906
Second Impression

Copyright, 1902, 1903, 1904, 1905, by The S. S. McClure Company
Copyright, 1902, by The Success Company
Copyright, 1905, by P. F. Collier & Son

CONTENTS
THE PETS
OSCAR'S CHANCE, PER CHARLEY
BILLY THE BUCK
THE DEMON IN THE CANON
THE LITTLE BEAR WHO GREW
IN THE ABSENCE OF RULES
FOR SALE, THE GOLDEN QUEEN
WHERE THE HORSE IS FATE
AGAMEMNON AND THE FALL OF TROY
A TOUCH OF NATURE

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
HE WAS A LOVELY PET . . . . . . Frontispiece (missing from book)
WE NEAR LOST TWO PETS
"I WISHT SOMEBODY'D TELEGRAPH THAT SON-OF-A-GUN FOR ME"
BOB 'UD HOP HIM
HIS STYLE OF RIDING ATTRACTED ATTENTION
SEARCHING HIS SOUL FOR SOUNDS TO TELL HOW SCART HE WAS
GET OFF'N ME!
THE AFFAIR WAS AT PRESENT IN THE FORMAL STATE
"A WISE AND SUBTLE PIECE OF STRATEGY"
"AN ACCOUNT OF MY ADVENTURES"
"'HERE'S--YOUR--DEER--KID,' HE GASPED."
"JIMMY-HIT-THE-BOTTLE"
THE PUNCHERS TO THE RESCUE
"HY" SMITH
HE'D COME AROUND WITH HIS PLANS AND SPECIFICATIONS TWICE A DAY
MIGUEL COULD RUN WHEN HE PUT HIS MIND TO IT
"CLEAN WAS NO NAME FOR HIS PERSONAL APPEARANCE"
"UP GETS FOXY WITH A SHRIEK AND GALLOPS AROUND THE HOUSE"
"OLD WINDY USED TO TALK TO THE PIG AS THOUGH THEY'D BEEN RAISED TOGETHER"
"HE'D HUMP UP HIS BACK . . . AND RUB AGAINST YOUR LEGS"
"NO. DIDN'T WANT FOOD. HEART WAS BROKE"
"'HUNGH!' SAYS HE, AND BLINKED HIS EYES SHUT"
"THE DOCTOR GOES SAILING INTO THE DRINK"
"A HA HA! CUT IN TWO IN THE MIDDLE"
"THAT WOOLLY, BLAATIN' FOOL OF A SHEEP"
"CHASES HIMSELF OFF TO THE SKY-LINE FOR ANOTHER TRY"
"THE DURNED RAM WAS PRANCIN' AWAY"
"HE WAS KNOCKED GALLEY-WEST"
"THAT PIG LOOKED UP AND SMILED"
"AND HOLLER! I WISHT YOU COULD HAVE HEARD THAT PIG"
"DONE. EVERLASTINGLY DONE"
THROUGH THE GLASS I GOT A BETTER VIEW OF THE POOR DEVIL ABOUT TO BE STRUNG
WE CALLED TO HIM TO HALT, AND HE STOPPED, KIND OF GRINNED AT US AND SAYS: "HELLO!"
YES, SIR; THERE HE SAT, AND HE WAS KNITTIN' A PAIR OF SOCKS!
TWENTY-FIVE FOOT OF A DROP, CLEAR, TO ICE-WATER--WOW!
"WHOOP HER UP, COLIN!" I HOLLERS

Red Saunders' Pets And Other Critters
The Pets
"Of all the worlds I ever broke into, this one's the most curious," said Red. "And one of the curiousest things in it is that I think it's queer. Why should I, now? What put it into our heads that affairs ought to go so and so and so, when they never do anything of the sort? Take any book you read, or any story a man tells you: it runs along about how Mr. Smith made up his mind to do this or that, and proceeded to do it. And that never happened. What Mr. Smith calls making up his mind is nothing more nor less than Mr. Smith's dodging to cover under pressure of circumstances. That's straight. Old Lady Luck comes for Mr. Smith's mind, swinging both hands; she gives it a stem-winder on the ear; lams it for keeps on the smeller; chugs it one in the short ribs, drives right and left into its stummick, and Mr. Smith's mind breaks for cover; then Mr. Smith tells his wife that--he's made up his mind--He, mind you. Wouldn't that stun you?
"Some people would say, 'Mr. Sett and Mr. Burton made up their minds to start the Big Bend Ranch.' All right; perhaps they did, but let me give you an inside view of the factory.
"First off, Billy Quinn, Wind-River Smith, and me were putting up hay at the lake beds. It was a God-forsaken, lonesome job, to say the best of it, and we took to collecting pets, to make it seem a little more like home.
"Billy shot a hawk, breaking its wing. That was the first in the collection. He was a lovely pet. When you gave him a piece of meat he said 'Cree,' and clawed chunks out of you, but most of the time he sat in the corner with his chin on his chest, like a broken-down lawyer. We didn't get the affection we needed out of him. Well, then Wind-River found a bull-snake asleep and lugged him home, hanging over his shoulder. We sewed a flannel collar on the snake and picketed him out until he got used to the place. And around and around and around squirmed that snake until