Red Saunders Pets and Other Critters | Page 5

a sudden. 'I must go after my poor dog.'
"I sort of warmed to him at that. 'Dog's all right,' says I. 'He'll shake 'em
loose and be home in no time. Now you tell me about them sheep.'
"'Sheep?' says he, putting his hand to his head. 'What was it about
sheep?'
"'Hello in the house!' sings out Billy. 'The children's comin' home!'
"We tumbled out. Sure enough, the warriors was returning. First come
the Judge, tougher than rawhide, half walking and half flying, his wings
spread out, 'cree-ing' to himself about bulldogs and their ways; next
come Bobby, still sputtering and swearing, and behind ambled Thomas
at a lively wriggle, a coy, large smile upon his face.
"'Ur-r-roup! Roup!' sounds from the top of the rise. The family halted
and turned around, expectin' more pleasure, for there on the top of the
hill stood the terrible scart but still faithful bulldog calling for his
master to come away from that place quick, before he got killed. But he
had one eye open for safety, and when the family stopped, he ducked
down behind the hill surprisin'.
"'Well, I must be going,' says the visitor. 'My name's Sett--Algernon
Alfred Sett--and I shall be over next week to talk to you about those
sheep.'
"'Any time,' says I. 'We'll be here till we have to shovel snow to get at

the hay, from the look of things.'
"'Well, I'm very anxious to have a good long talk with you about
sheep,' says he. 'I've been informed that you had a long experience in
that line in--er--Nevverdah----'
"'Nevverdah?' says I. 'Oh!--Nevada. I beg your pardon--I've got in the
habit of pronouncing in that way. It wasn't Nevada, by the way--it was
Texas--but that's only a matter of a Europe or so. Yes, I met a sheep or
two in that country, I'm sorry to say.'
"'I--er--think of engaging in the business, dontcher know,' says he,
relaxing into his first method of speech; 'and should like to consult you
professionally.'
"'All right, sir!' says I. 'I'm one of the easiest men to consult west of any
place east. Can't you stay now and get the load off your mind?'
"'Well--no,' he says to me very confidentially. 'You see, that dog is a
great pet of my wife's, and I'm also afraid she will be a little worried by
my long absence, so----'
"'I see, sir--I see,' I answered him. 'Well, come around again and we'll
talk sheep.'
"'Thank you--thank you so much,' says he, and pops up on his horse.
Then again, without any warning, he broke into a haw-haw-haw! as he
threw a glance at the family, who sat around eyeing him. 'You were
quite right about that cat, you know,' says he. 'Capital! Capital! But a
little rough on the dog.' And off he goes, bobbity-bob, bobbity-bob.
"'Where'd you tag that critter, Red?' says Wind-River. 'My mind's
wanderin'.'
"'He comes down the draw much the graceful way he's going up it,'
says I. 'From where, and why how, I dunno. But I kind of like him
against my better instincts, Windy.'

"Windy spit thoughtfully at a fly fifteen foot away. 'I shouldn't have
time to hate him much myself,' says he.
"And there you are. That's how I met Brother Sett, and the Big Bend
Ranch stuck her head out of the shell."

Oscar's Chance, per Charley
"Bhooooooorrr! Bhooooooooooooooorrrrr!" It was the hollow,
melancholy, wild beast-howl of a fog-horn. We were drifting upon a
tragic coast, where the great waves slipped up the cliffs noiselessly, to
disappear upon the other side. At the time, I was talking to a person
who had just been a sort of composite of several of my friends, but was
now a gaunt bay mule. "Isn't it co-o-ld?" I said to him, and shivered. He
looked me sternly in the eye. "Get up!" said he. The vessel struck a
rock and trembled violently. "Get up!" repeated the mule, and there was
a menace in his voice now. "Bhooooooooooorrrrr!" moaned the
fog-horn. This was dreadful. But worse followed. The waters gathered
themselves and rose into a peak, the mule sliding swiftly to the apex,
still holding me with his uncanny eyes. There came a shock, and Oscar
said, "For the Lord's sake, kid! They've been braying away on that
breakfast horn for the last five minutes. Hustle!"
I found myself upon my hands and knees; in a cabin, all right, but the
cabin was on the prairie. I looked around, stupid with sleep. The
familiar sights met my eye--Oscar tiptoeing about, bow-legged, arms
spread like wings, drawing his breath through his teeth, after the
fashion of half-frozen people. Old Charley sat humped up in the corner,
sucking his cob pipe. The stove was giving forth a smell