Real Life In London, Volumes I and II | Page 8

to the sufferers, till the coach was raised in a perpendicular
position. The farmer was no sooner on his legs, than clapping his hand
with anxious concern into an immense large pocket, he discovered that
a bottle of brandy it contained was crack'd, and the contents beginning
to escape: "I ax pardon, young gentleman," says he, seizing a hat that
the latter held with great care in his hand, and applying it to catch the
liquor--"I ax pardon for making so free, but I see the hat is a little out of
order, and can't be much hurt; and its a pity to waste the liquor, such a
price as it is now-a-days."--"Sir, what do you mean, shouldn't have
thought of your taking such liberties indeed, but makes good the old
saying--impudence and ~12~~ignorance go together: my hat out of
order, hey! I'd have you to know, Sir, that that there hat was bought of
Lloyd, in Newgate-street,{1} only last Thursday,-and cost eighteen
shillings; and if you look at the book in his vindow on hats, dedicated to
the head, you'll find that this here hat is a real exquisite; so much for
what you know about hats, my old fellow--I burst my stays all to pieces
in saving it from being squeezed out of shape, and now this old brute
has made a brandy-bottle of it."--"Oh! oh! my young Miss in disguise,"
replied the farmer, "I thought I smelt a rat when the Captain left the
coach, under pretence of walking up the hill--what, I suppose vou are
bound for Gretna, both of vou, hev young Lady?"
Every thing appertaining to the coach being now righted, our young
friends left the company to adjust their quarrels and pursue their
journey at discretion, anxious to reach the next town as expeditiously as
possible, where they purposed sleeping for the night. They mounted the
tandem, smack went the whip, and in a few minutes the stage-coach
and its motley group had disappeared.
Having reached their destination, and passed the night comfortably,
they next morning determined to kill an hour or two in the town; and

were taking a stroll arm in arm, when perceiving by a playbill, that an
amateur of fashion from the theatres royal, Drury Lane and Haymarket,
was just come in, and would shortly come out,
1 It would be injustice to great talents, not to notice, among other
important discoveries and improvements of the age, the labours of
Lloyd, who has classified and arranged whatever relates to that
necessary article of personal elegance, the Hat. He has given the world
a volume on the subject of Hats, dedicated to their great patron, the
Head, in which all the endless varieties of shape, dependent before on
mere whim and caprice, are reduced to fixed principles, and designated
after the great characters by which each particular fashion was first
introduced. The advantages to gentlemen residing in the country must
be incalculable: they have only to refer to the engravings in Mr. Lloyd's
work, where every possible variety is clearly defined, and to order such
as may suit the rank or character in life they either possess, or wish to
assume. The following enumeration comprises a few of the latest
fashions: --The Wellington--The Regent--The Caroline--The
Bashful--The Dandy--The Shallow--The Exquisite--The Marquis --The
New Dash--The Clerieus--The Tally-ho--The Noble Lord-- The
Taedum--The Bang-up--The Irresistible--The Bon Ton--The Paris
Beau--The Baronet--The Eccentric--The Bit of Blood, &c.
~13~~in a favourite character, they immediately directed their steps
towards a barn, with the hope of witnessing a rehearsal. Chance
introduced them to the country manager, and Tom having asked several
questions about this candidate, was assured by Mr. Mist:
"Oh! he is a gentleman-performer, and very useful to us managers, for
he not only finds his own dresses and properties, but 'struts and frets his
hour on the stage without any emoluments. His aversion to salary
recommended him to the lessee of Drury-lane theatre, though his
services had been previously rejected by the sub-committee."
"Can it be that game-cock, the gay Lothario," said Tom, "who sports an
immensity of diamonds?"--
Of Coates's frolics he of course well knew, Rare pastime for the

ragamuffin crew! Who welcome with the crowing of a cock, This hero
of the buskin and sock.
"Oh! no," rejoined Mr. Mist, "that cock don't crow now: this gentleman,
I assure you, has been at a theatrical school; he was instructed by the
person who made Master Bettv a young Roscius."
Tom shook his head, as if he doubted the abilities of this instructed
actor. To be a performer, he thought as arduous as to be a poet; and if
poeta nascitur, non fit--consequently an actor must have natural
abilities.
"And pray what character did this gentleman enact at Drury-lane
Theatre?"
"Hamlet, Prince of Denmark," answered Mr. Mist--"Shakespeare