Ragged Trousered Philanthropists | Page 9

a bloody windbag,' continued Crass; `you've got a 'ell
of a lot to say, but wen it comes to the point you don't know nothin'.'
`Why, even 'ere in Mugsborough,' chimed in Sawkins - who though
still lying on the dresser had been awakened by the shouting - `We're
overrun with 'em! Nearly all the waiters and the cook at the Grand
Hotel where we was working last month is foreigners.'
`Yes,' said old Joe Philpot, tragically, `and then thers all them Hitalian

horgin grinders, an' the blokes wot sells 'ot chestnuts; an' wen I was
goin' 'ome last night I see a lot of them Frenchies sellin' hunions, an' a
little wile afterwards I met two more of 'em comin' up the street with a
bear.'
Notwithstanding the disquieting nature of this intelligence, Owen again
laughed, much to the indignation of the others, who thought it was a
very serious state of affairs. It was a dam' shame that these people were
allowed to take the bread out of English people's mouths: they ought to
be driven into the bloody sea.
And so the talk continued, principally carried on by Crass and those
who agreed with him. None of them really understood the subject: not
one of them had ever devoted fifteen consecutive minutes to the earnest
investigation of it. The papers they read were filled with vague and
alarming accounts of the quantities of foreign merchandise imported
into this country, the enormous number of aliens constantly arriving,
and their destitute conditions, how they lived, the crimes they
committed, and the injury they did to British trade. These were the
seeds which, cunningly sown in their minds, caused to grow up within
them a bitter undiscriminating hatred of foreigners. To them the
mysterious thing they variously called the `Friscal Policy', the `Fistical
Policy', or the `Fissical Question' was a great Anti-Foreign Crusade.
The country was in a hell of a state, poverty, hunger and misery in a
hundred forms had already invaded thousands of homes and stood upon
the thresholds of thousands more. How came these things to be? It was
the bloody foreigner! Therefore, down with the foreigners and all their
works. Out with them. Drive them b--s into the bloody sea! The
country would be ruined if not protected in some way. This Friscal,
Fistical, Fissical or whatever the hell policy it was called, WAS
Protection, therefore no one but a bloody fool could hesitate to support
it. It was all quite plain - quite simple. One did not need to think twice
about it. It was scarcely necessary to think about it at all.
This was the conclusion reached by Crass and such of his mates who
thought they were Conservatives - the majority of them could not have
read a dozen sentences aloud without stumbling - it was not necessary

to think or study or investigate anything. It was all as clear as daylight.
The foreigner was the enemy, and the cause of poverty and bad trade.
When the storm had in some degree subsided,
`Some of you seem to think,' said Owen, sneeringly, `that it was a great
mistake on God's part to make so many foreigners. You ought to hold a
mass meeting about it: pass a resolution something like this: "This
meeting of British Christians hereby indignantly protests against the
action of the Supreme Being in having created so many foreigners, and
calls upon him to forthwith rain down fire, brimstone and mighty rocks
upon the heads of all those Philistines, so that they may be utterly
exterminated from the face of the earth, which rightly belongs to the
British people".'
Crass looked very indignant, but could think of nothing to say in
answer to Owen, who continued:
`A little while ago you made the remark that you never trouble yourself
about what you call politics, and some of the rest agreed with you that
to do so is not worth while. Well, since you never "worry" yourself
about these things, it follows that you know nothing about them; yet
you do not hesitate to express the most decided opinions concerning
matters of which you admittedly know nothing. Presently, when there
is an election, you will go and vote in favour of a policy of which you
know nothing. I say that since you never take the trouble to find out
which side is right or wrong you have no right to express any opinion.
You are not fit to vote. You should not be allowed to vote.'
Crass was by this time very angry.
`I pays my rates and taxes,' he shouted, `an' I've got as much right to
express an opinion as you 'ave. I votes for who the bloody 'ell I likes. I
shan't arst your leave nor nobody else's! Wot