R.U.R. | Page 7

whole of
Europe.
Helena: (to the others) You aren't robots?
Busman: (laughing) God forbid!
Hallemeier: The idea's disgusting!
Dr. Gall: (laughing) Well thank you very much!
Helena: But... but that's impossible.
Fabry: On my word of honour, Miss Glory, we are not robots.
Helena: (to Domin) Then why did you tell me that all your staff are robots?
Domin: All the staff are robots, but not the management. Let me introduce them: Mr.
Fabry, general technical director, Rossum's Universal Robots. Doctor Gall, director of
department for physiology and research. Doctor Hallemeier, director of the institute for
robot behaviour and psychology. Mr. Busman, commercial director, and Mr. Alquist, our
builder, head of construction at Rossum's Universal Robots.
Helena: I'm sorry gentlemen. I... I... oh, that's terrible, what have I done?
Alquist: Oh, it doesn't matter, Miss Glory, please sit down.
Helena: (sitting) What a stupid girl I am. Now, now you'll send me back on the next ship.
Dr. Gall: Not for the world. Why would we want to send you back?
Helena: Because now you know... you know... you know I want to destroy your business.
Domin: But there've already been hundreds of saviours and prophets here. More of them
arrive with every ship; missionaries, anarchists, the Salvation Army, everything you can
think of. It's astonishing just how many churches and madmen there are in the world.
Helena: And you let them talk to the robots?
Domin: Why not? We've let them all do it so far. The robots remember everything, but
that's all they do. They don't even laugh at what people tell them. It's really quite
incredible. If you feel like it, I can take you down to the storeroom and you can talk to the
robots there.
Busman: Three hundred and forty-seven thousand.

Domin: Alright then. You can lecture them on whatever you like. Read them the Bible,
logarithmic tables, anything. You can even preach to them about human rights.
Helena: But I thought that... if they were just shown a little love...
Fabry: That's impossible, Miss Glory. There's nothing more different from people than a
robot.
Helena: Why do you make them?
Busman: Hahaha, that's a good one! Why do we make robots!
Fabry: So that they can work for us, Miss Glory. One robot can take the place of two and
a half workers. The human body is very imperfect; one day it had to be replaced with a
machine that would work better.
Busman: People cost too much.
Fabry: They were very unproductive. They weren't good enough for modern technology.
And besides,... besides... this is wonderful progress that... I beg your pardon.
Helena: What?
Fabry: Please forgive me, but to give birth to a machine is wonderful progress. It's more
convenient and it's quicker, and everything that's quicker means progress. Nature had no
notion of the modern rate of work. From a technical point of view, the whole of
childhood is quite pointless. Simply a waste of time. And thirdly...
Helena: Oh, stop it!
Fabry: As you like. Can I ask you, what actually is it that your League... League of
Humanity stands for?
Helena: It's meant to... actually it's meant to protect the robots and make sure... make sure
they're treated properly.
Fabry: That's not at all a bad objective. A machine should always be treated properly. In
fact I agree with you completely. I never like it when things are damaged. Miss Glory,
would you mind enrolling all of us as new paying members of your organisation.
Helena: No, you don't understand. We want, what we actually want is to set the robots
free!
Hallemeier: To do what?
Helena: They should be treated... treated the same as people.
Hallemeier: Aha. So you mean they should have the vote! Do you think they should be
paid a wage as well?

Helena: Well of course they should!
Hallemeier: We'll have to see about that. And what do you think they'd do with their
wages?
Helena: They'd buy... buy the things they need... things to bring them pleasure.
Hallemeier: This all sounds very nice; only robots don't feel pleasure. And what are these
things they're supposed to buy? They can be fed on pineapples, straw, anything you like;
it's all the same to them, they haven't got a sense of taste. There's nothing they're
interested in, Miss Glory. It's not as if anyone's ever seen a robot laugh.
Helena: Why... why... why don't you make them happier?
Hallemeier: We couldn't do that, they're only robots after all. They've got no will of their
own. No passions. No hopes. No soul.
Helena: And no love and no courage?
Hallemeier: Well of course they don't feel love. Robots don't love anything, not even
themselves. And courage? I'm not so sure about that; a couple