Queed

Queed

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Queed, by Henry Sydnor Harrison This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: Queed
Author: Henry Sydnor Harrison
Release Date: December 8, 2004 [EBook #14303]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
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[Illustration: MR. QUEED, YOU ARE AFFLICTED WITH A FATAL MALADY. YOUR COSMOS IS ALL EGO]

QUEED
A NOVEL
BY
HENRY SYDNOR HARRISON
WITH A FRONTISPIECE BY R.M. CROSBY
[Illustration: TOVT RIEN OV RIEN]
BOSTON AND NEW YORK HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
The Riverside Press Cambridge 1911

TO MY MOTHER

CONTENTS
I _First Meeting between a Citizen in Spectacles and the Great Pleasure-Dog Behemoth; also of Charles Gardiner West, a Personage at Thirty_. 3
II _Mrs. Paynter's Boarding-House: which was not founded as an Eleemosynary Institution_. 14
III _Encounter between Charlotte Lee Weyland, a Landlady's Agent, and Doctor Queed, a Young Man who wouldn't pay his Board_. 25
IV _Relating how Two Stars in their Courses fought for Mr. Queed; and how he accepted Remunerative Employment under Colonel Cowles, the Military Political Economist_. 40
V _Selections from Contemporary Opinions of Mr. Queed; also concerning Henry G. Surface, his Life and Deeds; of Fifi, the Landlady's Daughter, and how she happened to look up Altruism in the Dictionary_. 51
VI _Autobiographical Data imparted, for Sound Business Reasons, to a Landlady's Agent; of the Agent's Other Title, etc._ 64
VII _In which an Assistant Editor, experiencing the Common Desire to thrash a Proof-Reader, makes a Humiliating Discovery; and of how Trainer Klinker gets a Pupil the Same Evening_. 79
VIII _Formal Invitation to Fifi to share Queed's Dining-Room (provided it is very cold upstairs); and First Outrage upon the Sacred Schedule of Hours_. 93
IX _Of Charles Gardiner West, President-Elect of Blaines College, and his Ladies Fair: all in Mr. West's Lighter Manner_. 104
X _Of Fifi on Friendship, and who would be sorry if Queed died; of Queed's Mad Impulse, sternly overcome; of his Indignant Call upon Nicolovius, the Old Professor_. 114
XI _Concerning a Plan to make a Small Gift to a Fellow-Boarder, and what it led to in the Way of Calls; also touching upon Mr. Queed's Dismissal from the Post, and the Generous Resolve of the Young Lady, Charles Weyland_. 127
XII _More Consequences of the Plan about the Gift, and of how Mr. Queed drinks his Medicine like a Man; Fifi on Men, and how they do; Second Corruption of the Sacred Schedule_. 137
XIII _"Taking the Little Doctor Down a Peg or Two": as performed for the First and Only Time by Sharlee Weyland_. 146
XIV _In which Klinker quotes Scripture, and Queed has helped Fifi with her Lessons for the Last Time_. 163
XV _In a Country Churchyard, and afterwards; of Friends: how they take your Time while they live, and then die, upsetting your Evening's Work; and what Buck Klinker saw in the Scriptorium at 2 a.m._. 174
XVI _Triumphal Return of Charles Gardiner West from the Old World; and of how the Other World had wagged in his Absence_. 186
XVII _A Remeeting in a Cemetery: the Unglassed Queed who loafed on Rustic Bridges; of the Consequences of failing to tell a Lady that you hope to see her again soon_. 200
XVIII _Of President West of Old Blaines College, his Trustees and his Troubles; his Firmness in the Brown-Jones Hazing Incident so misconstrued by Malicious Asses; his Article for the Post, and why it was never printed: all ending in West's Profound Dissatisfaction with the Rewards of Patriotism_. 216
XIX _The Little House on Duke of Gloucester Street; and the Beginning of Various Feelings, Sensibilities, and Attitudes between two Lonely Men_. 239
XX _Meeting of the Post Directors to elect a Successor to Colonel Cowles; Charles Gardiner West's Sensible Remarks on Mr. Queed; Mr. West's Resignation from Old Blaines College, and New Consecration to the Uplift_. 248
XXI _Queed sits on the Steps with Sharlee, and sees Some Old Soldiers go marching by_. 257
XXII _In which Professor Nicolovius drops a Letter on the Floor, and Queed conjectures that happiness sometimes comes to Men wearing a Strange Face_. 274
XXIII _Of the Bill for the Reformatory, and its Critical Situation; of West's Second Disappointment with the Rewards of Patriotism; of the Consolation he found in the Most Charming Resolve in the World_. 290
XXIV _Sharlee's Parlor on Another Evening; how One Caller outsat Two, and why; also, how Sharlee looked in her Mirror for a Long Time, and why_. 300
XXV _Recording a Discussion about the Reformatory between Editor West and his Dog-like Admirer, the City Boss; and a Briefer Conversation between West and Prof. Nicolovius's Boarder_. 312
XXVI _In which Queed forces the Old Professor's Hand, and the Old Professor takes to