Queed

Queed

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Queed, by Henry Sydnor Harrison
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Title: Queed
Author: Henry Sydnor Harrison
Release Date: December 8, 2004 [EBook #14303]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
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[Illustration: MR. QUEED, YOU ARE AFFLICTED WITH A FATAL
MALADY. YOUR COSMOS IS ALL EGO]

QUEED

A NOVEL
BY
HENRY SYDNOR HARRISON
WITH A FRONTISPIECE BY R.M. CROSBY
[Illustration: TOVT RIEN OV RIEN]
BOSTON AND NEW YORK HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
The Riverside Press Cambridge 1911

TO MY MOTHER

CONTENTS
I _First Meeting between a Citizen in Spectacles and the Great
Pleasure-Dog Behemoth; also of Charles Gardiner West, a Personage at
Thirty_. 3
II _Mrs. Paynter's Boarding-House: which was not founded as an
Eleemosynary Institution_. 14
III _Encounter between Charlotte Lee Weyland, a Landlady's Agent,
and Doctor Queed, a Young Man who wouldn't pay his Board_. 25
IV _Relating how Two Stars in their Courses fought for Mr. Queed;
and how he accepted Remunerative Employment under Colonel
Cowles, the Military Political Economist_. 40
V _Selections from Contemporary Opinions of Mr. Queed; also
concerning Henry G. Surface, his Life and Deeds; of Fifi, the
Landlady's Daughter, and how she happened to look up Altruism in the
Dictionary_. 51

VI _Autobiographical Data imparted, for Sound Business Reasons, to a
Landlady's Agent; of the Agent's Other Title, etc._ 64
VII _In which an Assistant Editor, experiencing the Common Desire to
thrash a Proof-Reader, makes a Humiliating Discovery; and of how
Trainer Klinker gets a Pupil the Same Evening_. 79
VIII _Formal Invitation to Fifi to share Queed's Dining-Room
(provided it is very cold upstairs); and First Outrage upon the Sacred
Schedule of Hours_. 93
IX _Of Charles Gardiner West, President-Elect of Blaines College, and
his Ladies Fair: all in Mr. West's Lighter Manner_. 104
X _Of Fifi on Friendship, and who would be sorry if Queed died; of
Queed's Mad Impulse, sternly overcome; of his Indignant Call upon
Nicolovius, the Old Professor_. 114
XI _Concerning a Plan to make a Small Gift to a Fellow-Boarder, and
what it led to in the Way of Calls; also touching upon Mr. Queed's
Dismissal from the Post, and the Generous Resolve of the Young Lady,
Charles Weyland_. 127
XII _More Consequences of the Plan about the Gift, and of how Mr.
Queed drinks his Medicine like a Man; Fifi on Men, and how they do;
Second Corruption of the Sacred Schedule_. 137
XIII _"Taking the Little Doctor Down a Peg or Two": as performed for
the First and Only Time by Sharlee Weyland_. 146
XIV _In which Klinker quotes Scripture, and Queed has helped Fifi
with her Lessons for the Last Time_. 163
XV _In a Country Churchyard, and afterwards; of Friends: how they
take your Time while they live, and then die, upsetting your Evening's
Work; and what Buck Klinker saw in the Scriptorium at 2 a.m._. 174
XVI _Triumphal Return of Charles Gardiner West from the Old World;

and of how the Other World had wagged in his Absence_. 186
XVII _A Remeeting in a Cemetery: the Unglassed Queed who loafed
on Rustic Bridges; of the Consequences of failing to tell a Lady that
you hope to see her again soon_. 200
XVIII _Of President West of Old Blaines College, his Trustees and his
Troubles; his Firmness in the Brown-Jones Hazing Incident so
misconstrued by Malicious Asses; his Article for the Post, and why it
was never printed: all ending in West's Profound Dissatisfaction with
the Rewards of Patriotism_. 216
XIX _The Little House on Duke of Gloucester Street; and the
Beginning of Various Feelings, Sensibilities, and Attitudes between
two Lonely Men_. 239
XX _Meeting of the Post Directors to elect a Successor to Colonel
Cowles; Charles Gardiner West's Sensible Remarks on Mr. Queed; Mr.
West's Resignation from Old Blaines College, and New Consecration
to the Uplift_. 248
XXI _Queed sits on the Steps with Sharlee, and sees Some Old
Soldiers go marching by_. 257
XXII _In which Professor Nicolovius drops a Letter on the Floor, and
Queed conjectures that happiness sometimes comes to Men wearing a
Strange Face_. 274
XXIII _Of the Bill for the Reformatory, and its Critical Situation; of
West's Second Disappointment with the Rewards of Patriotism; of the
Consolation he found in the Most Charming Resolve in the World_.
290
XXIV _Sharlee's Parlor on Another Evening; how One Caller outsat
Two, and why; also, how Sharlee looked in her Mirror for a