Quaint Gleanings from Ancient Poetry | Page 7

Cuckolds, and Pandors. Appear'd all like so many great
Alexanders,
IV.
Whose Warriers who thorow all Dangers durst go.
Most bravely
despising Blood, Battle, and Foe,
Were mounted on Steeds the last
Lord Mayor's Day,
From Turky, Spain, Barbary, Coach, Cart, and
Dray.
V.
'Twas that very day their high Prowess was shown,
In guarding the
King thro' the Fire-works o' th' Town;
Tho' Sparks were unhors'd and
their lac'd Coats were spoil'd, They dreaded no Squibs of Men, Women,
or Child.
VI.
The Cornet whose nose, though it spoke him no Roman,
Was
mounted that day on a Horse that feared no man,
No Wounds, for all
o're his Trappings so sumptuous
He had ty'd Squibs and Crackers;
'twas mighty presumptuous.
VII.
For note his Design; faith, 'tis worth your admiring:
'Twas to let the
Queen se how his Horse could stand firing, Not wisely consid'ring her
Majesty's marry'd,
And he had been hang'd if the Queen had
miscarry'd.

VIII.
All Hearts true as Steel, but of all brave Fellows
Th'Attorney for my
money who was so zealous,
He went for the Lease of his own House
from Home,
To make a new covering for the Troop's Kettle drum.
IX.
The Lieutenant being thrown by his Jennet,
His Son in Law fancying
some Treachery in it,
Gave the Oaths to the Horse, which the Beast
took, they say, But swore by the Lord they went down like chopt hay.
X.
He the Nag of an Irish Papist did buy,
So doubting his Courage and
his Loyalty,
He taught him to eat with his Oats Gunpowdero,
And
prance to the Tune of Lilly-bolero. [11]
XI.
The Tub-preaching Saint was so furious a Blade,
In Jack-boots
both Day and Night preacht, slept, and pray'd; To call them to prayers
he need no Saint's Bell,
For gingling his Spurs chim'd them all in as
well.
XII.
A noble stout Scrivener that now shall be nameless,
That in Day of
Battle he might be found blameless,
A War-horse of Wood from
Duck Carver buys,
To learn with more safety the Horse Exercise.
XIII.
With one eye on's Honour, the other on's Gain,
He fixes a Desk on
Bucephalus Main,
That so by that means he his Prancer bestriding,

Might practise at once both his Writing and Riding.
XIV.

But, oh, the sad news which their Joy now confounds,
To Ireland,
their own, like the last Trumpet sounds;
Lord! Lord! how this sets
them a Waiting Petitions,
And thinking of nothing but Terms and
Conditions.
XV.
Oh, who will March for me? speak any that dare,
A Horse and an
Hundred Pounds for him, that's fair;
Dear Courtiers, excuse me from
Teagland and Slaughter,
And take which you please, Sir, my Wife or
my Daughter."
XVI.
Some feign'd themselves lame, some feign'd themselves clapt,
At last finding all themselves by themselves trapt,
The King most
unanimously they addrest,
And told him the Truth, 'twas all but a Jest.
XVII.
"A Jest," quoth the King, and with that the King smil'd,

"Come, it ne're shall be said such a Jest shall be spoil'd; Therefore I
dismiss you. in Peace all depart,
For it was more your Goodness than
my Desert."
XVIII.
Thus happily freed from the dreadful Vexation
Of being Defenders of
this, or that Nation,
They kist Royal Fist, and were drunk all for Joy,

And broke all their swords, and cry'd Vive le Roy.
[Footnote 11: The refrain of a celebrated political song.]
A BALLAD ON THE FLEET.
I.
A mighty great Fleet--the like was ne'er seen
Since the Reign of K.
William_ and _Mary the Q.--
Design'd the Destruction of France, to
have been,

Which nobody can deny, etc.
II.
The Fleet was composed of English_ and _Dutch;
For Men and for
Guns there was never seen such,
Nor so little done when expected so
much,
Which, etc.
III.
One hundred Ships which we Capital call,
With Frigots and Tenders,
and Yatchts that were small,
Went out, and did little or nothing at all,
Which, etc.
IV.
260,500 and six Lusty Men,
Had they chanc'd to have met with the
French Fleet, oh, then, As they beat 'em last year, so they'd beat 'em
again,
Which, etc.
V.
Six thousand great Guns and seventy-eight more,
As good and as
great as ever did roar;
It had been the same thing had they all been
ashore,
Which, etc.
VI.
But T---- [12] now must command them no more;
We try'd of what
Mettle he was made of before;
It's safer for him on the Land for to
whore,

Which, etc.
VII.
For a Bullet perhaps from the loud Cannons Breech,
Which makes no
distinction betwixt poor and rich,
Instead of his Dog might have
taken his Bitch,
Which, etc.
VIII.
But R---- the C---- C---- R---- is chose
His fine self and his Fleet to
the Sea to expose,
But he'll have a care how he meets with his Foes,
Which, etc.
IX.
He had Sea-Colonels of the Nature of Otter,
Which either might serve
by Land or by Water,
But of what they have done we have heard no
great matter,
Which, etc.
X.
In