Quaint Courtships | Page 9

gives us our
in-laws!"
"Mother!" said Mary North, horrified, "you do say such things! But
really he oughtn't to come so often. I'll--I'll take you away from Old
Chester rather than have him bother you."
"Mary, you are just as foolish as his daughter-in-law," said Mrs. North,
impatiently.
And, somehow, poor Mary North's heart sank.
Nor was she the only perturbed person in town that night. Mrs. Cyrus
had a headache, so it was necessary for Cyrus to hold her hand and
assure her that Willy King said a headache did not mean brain fever.
"Willy King doesn't know everything. If he had headaches like mine,
he wouldn't be so sure. I am always worrying about things, and I
believe my brain can't stand it. And now I've got your father to worry
about!"
"Better try and sleep, Gussie. I'll put some Kaliston on your head."
"Kaliston! Kaliston won't keep me from worrying.--Oh, listen to that
harmonicon!"
"Gussie, I'm sure he isn't thinking of Mrs. North."
"Mrs. North is thinking of him, which is a great deal more dangerous.
Cyrus, you must ask Dr. Lavendar to interfere."

As this was at least the twentieth assault upon poor Cyrus's common
sense, the citadel trembled.
"Do you wish me to go into brain fever before your eyes, just from
worry?" Gussie demanded. "You must go!"
"Well, maybe, perhaps, to-morrow--"
"To-night--to-night," said Augusta, faintly.
And Cyrus surrendered.
"Look under the bed before you go," Gussie murmured.
Cyrus looked. "Nobody there," he said, reassuringly; and went on tiptoe
out of the darkened, cologne-scented room. But as he passed along the
hall, and saw his father in his little cabin of a room, smoking placidly,
and polishing his sextant with loving hands, Cyrus's heart reproached
him.
"How's her head, Cy?" the Captain called out.
"Oh, better, I guess," Cyrus said.--("I'll be hanged if I speak to Dr.
Lavendar!")
"That's good," said the Captain, beginning to hoist himself up out of his
chair. "Going out? Hold hard, and I'll go 'long. I want to call on Mrs.
North."
Cyrus stiffened. "Cold night, sir," he remonstrated.
"'Your granny was Murray, and wore a black nightcap!'" said the
Captain; "you are getting delicate in your old age, Cy." He got up, and
plunged into his coat, and tramped out, slamming the door heartily
behind him; for which, later, poor Cyrus got the credit. "Where you
bound?"
"Oh--down-street," said Cyrus, vaguely.
"Sealed orders?" said the Captain, with never a bit of curiosity in his
big, kind voice; and Cyrus felt as small as he was. But when he left the
old man at Mrs. North's door, he was uneasy again. Maybe Gussie was
right! Women are keener about those things than men. And his
uneasiness actually carried him to Dr. Lavendar's study, where he tried
to appear at ease by patting Danny.
"What's the matter with you, Cyrus?" said Dr. Lavendar, looking at him
over his spectacles. (Dr. Lavendar, in his wicked old heart, always
wanted to call this young man Cipher; but, so far, grace had been given
him to withstand temptation.) "What's wrong?" he said.
And Cyrus, somehow, told his troubles.

At first Dr. Lavendar chuckled; then he frowned. "Gussie put you up to
this, Cy--_rus_?" he said.
"Well, my wife's a woman," Cyrus began, "and they're keener on such
matters than men; and she said perhaps you would--would--"
_"What?"_ Dr. Lavendar rapped on the table with the bowl of his pipe,
so loudly that Danny opened one eye. "Would what?"
"Well," Cyrus stammered, "you know, Dr. Lavendar, as Gussie says,
'there's no fo--'"
"You needn't finish it," Dr. Lavendar interrupted, dryly; "I've heard it
before. Gussie didn't say anything about a young fool, did she?" Then
he eyed Cyrus. "Or a middle-aged one? I've seen middle-aged fools that
could beat us old fellows hollow."
"Oh, but Mrs. North is far beyond middle age," said Cyrus, earnestly.
Dr. Lavendar shook his head. "Well, well!" he said. "To think that
Alfred Price should have such a--And yet he is as sensible a man as I
know!"
"Until now," Cyrus amended. "But Gussie thought you'd better caution
him. We don't want him, at his time of life, to make a mistake."
"It's much more to the point that I should caution you not to make a
mistake," said Dr. Lavendar; and then he rapped on the table again,
sharply. "The Captain has no such idea--unless Gussie has given it to
him. Cyrus, my advice to you is to go home and tell your wife not to be
a goose. I'll tell her, if you want me to?"
"Oh no, no!" said Cyrus, very much frightened. "I'm afraid you'd hurt
her feelings."
"I'm afraid I should," said Dr. Lavendar.
He was so plainly out of temper that Cyrus finally slunk off,
uncomforted