Punch, or the London Charivari | Page 9

MINISTER, which he, as a person of taste, interpreted as "studied disrespect of the House of Commons." In this view he was supported by Mr. KING. Mr. LLOYD GEORGE must really be careful.
Strange to say, no public notice was taken of another distinguished absentee--the Member for East Herts. A few days ago, after a violent collision with Mr. JUSTICE DARLING, MR. PEMBERTON-BILLING announced his intention of resigning his seat and submitting himself for re-election. But since then we have been given to understand that a vote of confidence proposed by PEMBERTON, seconded by BILLING, and carried unanimously by the hyphen, had convinced him that, as in the leading case of Mr. CECIL RHODES, "resignation can wait."
_Thursday, February 8th._--When we read day by day long lists of merchant vessels sunk by the enemy submarines two questions occur to most of us. How does the amount of tonnage lost compare with the amount of new tonnage put afloat, and what is the number of submarines that the Navy has accounted for in recent months? Mr. FLAVIN put the first question to-day, but found Sir LEO CHIOZZA MONEY, who usually exudes statistics at every pore, singularly reticent on the subject. All he would say was that a large programme of new construction was in hand.
Private Members blew off a great volume of steam to-day on the proposal of the Government to take the whole time of the House. Scotsmen, Irishmen and an Englishman or two joined in the plea that at least they should be allowed to introduce their various little Bills, even if they did not get any further. Perhaps if a Welshman had joined the band they might have been listened to. As it was, only one of them received any comfort. This was Mr. SWIFT MACNEILL, who was informed that the Bill to deprive the enemy dukes of their British titles, for which he has been clamouring these two years, would shortly be introduced. But for the rest Mr. BONAR LAW was not inclined at this crisis in our fate to encourage the raising of questions, most of them acutely controversial, which would distract attention from the War.
On an amendment to the Address Mr. LESLIE SCOTT took up his brief for the British farmer, who, deprived of his skilled men and faced with higher prices for fertilizers and feeding-stuffs, was expected to grow more food without having any certainty that he would be able to dispose of it at a remunerative price. Farming is always a bit of a gamble, but in present conditions it beats the Stock Exchange hollow. Some of the proposals which Mr. SCOTT outlined to improve the situation would have been denounced as revolutionary three years ago, and were a little too drastic even now for Mr. PROTHERO. Squeezed between the WAR MINISTER and the FOOD CONTROLLER, the MINISTER OF AGRICULTURE rather resembles the Dormouse in _Alice in Wonderland_; but he is really quite all right, thank you. Mr. GEORGE LAMBERT thinks that the author of "The Psalms in Human Life" is too saintly to tackle Lords DERBY and DEVONPORT, but, if my memory serves me, DAVID--no allusion to the PREMIER--had a rather pretty gift of invective.
Let no one say that England is not at last awake. Mr. CHARLES BATHURST to-night made the terrific announcement that in some parts of the country Masters of Hounds are--shooting foxes.
"This brings the War home," said FERDINAND THE FEARFUL when he heard the news.
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[Illustration: Jones (_to cloak-room attendant_). "HOW MUCH?"
_Cloak-room Attendant._ "THERE IS NO VERBAL CHARGE, SIR."]
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"It was agreed to express satisfaction with the announcement that the price fixed for the potato crop of 1917 was not a miximum price."--_Scots Paper._
This must be the happy mean of which we hear so much.
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THE RECENT TRUCE.
Students of geography know that Ballybun is divided from the back gardens of Kilterash by the pellucid waters of that noble stream, the Bun, which hurls itself over a barrier of old tin-cans in a frantic effort to find the sea. But they do not know that this physical division, long ago bridged, is nothing to the moral and political division which will keep the two for ever asunder.
Several of our younger citizens have written to me from the trenches to ask how the War is progressing. I have usually in reply quoted the remark of one of their number on leaving us for the Front after a short holiday, that he was now looking forward to a little peace and rest. I wish here to add a postscript to this concerning a recent unexpected truce.
Political geography is not written as it should be, so that there may be people who have not even heard of the Great War between Ballybun and Kilterash. No one