Punch, or the London Charivari | Page 3

all rite now but this plesant thouhgt must not stop us
sending parsels to the sailers, as you cant fish up cakes and apples out
of the sea and they like them very much.
JOHN BRIGHT (age 9-1/2).
* * * * *

SOLGIERS.
Solgiers wear karki. If you are an offiser the others salut you if you
arn't they don't. People musn't kill each other unless they have to becos
it's rwong. Solgiers have to. They have to pollish there buttens as well.
It is there cheef job unless they are offisers. Then they don't becos they
get paid more and let some one else do it for them. Before the war
solgiers were only one kind of man, now they are all kinds but mostly
good. Granpa is a genral so he knows. A frend of fathers is a private, he
is quite nice but he mayn't come to dinner when granpas here. I shall be
a solgier when I grow up praps a genral but Im not sure. I would like to
be someone with a sord and a drum. Granpa hasn't got a drum.
DOUGLAS BAYSWATER (age 8).
* * * * *
AMERICA.
America is really the name of a continent but when we say America we
mean the bit of it that used to belong to us. Americans do not have a
king they used to have our King but they gave him up. It wasn't the
King we have now or perhaps they wouldn't have. So they have
someone called a President who does instead but he doesn't wear a
crown and he only lasts a short time like the Lord Mare or a little
longer. Besides the President there are men called millonares, they are
normously rich and do insted of princes and dukes, who they haven't
got either but not because they don't like them but because it is a
Republic. Americans don't like war but if they have to fight they can do
it all right Father says.
MARY GREY (age 10).
* * * * *
OUR ALLIES.
It is with great pleasure that I take up my pen to write about Our Allies.

They are France, Belgium, Russia, Italy, Serbia, Portugal, Rumania,
and America. I think thats all at present but eight is a good number. To
begin with France. In time of peace the French are a gay and polite
people which is very nice I think. They are noted for their coffee and
for their fashions as both are better than ours. And all the women can
cook. How beautiful it would be for England if she could imitate her
sister country in these things! I can make a cake but not a very light one.
Now let us look at Verdun on the map. It is a great fortress and the
Germans thought they could take it but I rejoice to say they couldn't as
the bravery and patrioticness of the French troops came in the way.
Belgium is the next on the list. Belgium is a little country and Germany
is a big one so of course the Germans had the best of it at first but they
won't much longer. So it will be all right soon if we dont eat too many
sweets and things. Russia, Italy, Serbia, Portugal, Rumania, America
and Montynegro, which I forgot before, are all splendid countries but
space forbids more.
KATHLEEN CHALFONT (age 12).
* * * * *
The German soldiers' opinion of "retirement according to plan": "Each
for himself; and the Devil take the Hindenburg."
* * * * *
"To fill up the gaps in the ranks trains of German reserves are being
hushed to the front incessantly."--_Star._
We don't believe this. The Bosch has long given up the habit of singing
as he goes into battle.
* * * * *
"J.J. (New Brighton) sends us a case of a novel method to keep out
would-be marauders from the garden. A friend of his who has some
expensive ferns planted in a rockery put up the notice, 'Beware of the
Scolopendriums and Polypodiums'--which, of course, are the Latin

names of garden insects."--_Pearson's Weekly._
Clearly a case of nature mimicry.
* * * * *
[Illustration: SELF-PROTECTION.
JOHN BULL. "I'VE INVESTED A MINT OF MONEY IN OTHER
LANDS, IT'S TIME I PUT SOMETHING INTO MY OWN."]
* * * * *
REVIVALS AND REVISIONS.
"IT" (as Mr. GOSSE says at the beginning of his fascinating
monograph on SWINBURNE, a work which we understand has just
been crowned by the Band of Hope) it is now beyond doubt that Mr.
H.B. IRVING'S drastic way with Hamlet is to have a far-reaching
effect on all revivals. New authors can be acted more or less as they
write, or as