Punch, or the London Charivari | Page 8

And there's plinty of throuble in shtore, Ivery mornin' I wake up onaisy Bekase I can't shleep any more. 'Twas CROMWELL, bad scran to 'im, done it, Him that murdhered King CHARLES, ochone! And since the black villin begun it Ould Erin's done nothing but groan, And moan, It would soften the heart of a shtone.
By the poker, I'm boilin' with passion Whin I think of the laws that they make; At a fair the bhoys heads ye can't smash in, Nor get dacently dhrunk at a wake. There's only twelve pince in a shillin', And not more than two pints in a quart, Onless you are cliver at fillin', And can make it hould more than it ought. Don't be caught, Or, be jabers, they'll make you pay for't.
Where's the kings and the princes of Erin That lived on purtaties and point, And niver saw year out and year in The divil a taste of a joint? Thim toirants now buy all our bacon, And the linen, and butther, and that, All that grows in the counthry is taken From Antrim to Mullinavat. Poor Pat Has to sell at a profut, that's flat.
Well, honies, I'll give ye a hint, And let ivery one do it who can; When the bag of thirteens is all spint, Set up for a Parliament man. Thim's the boys that gets lashins of drinkin', And they dine wanst a week wid the Queen, Where the glasses are niver done clinkin', Wid the Royalties jokin' and spreein', Jubileein', And such doins as niver was seen.
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A COMPLAINT AND SIMPLE REMEDY.--
Among the Requests in our ecclesiastical contemporary, The Guardian, recently appeared one asking for an effectual way of "exterminating dry rot, and preventing its re-appearance in a church." Why doesn't the reverend inquirer try somebody else's Sermons? Or have no Sermons at all?
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NOTHING more delights our old friend than to get hold of a real good word, and use it with effect. "I wish I knew what is going to win the Derby this year," observed her Niece. "Ah, my dear," replied her Aunt, "I might be able to tell you if I were a Vaccinator."
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BEST DAY IN THE WEEK FOR MAKING A PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE.--In London, Monday is the most appropriate, as being dedicated to the "Monday Pops."
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[Illustration: Mr. Moriarty. "LOOK HERE, ADA, HOW MUCH LONGER, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, ARE YE GOIN' TO BE DRESSIN' YOURSELF?"
Voice from the Heights. "ONLY TEN MINUTES, DEAR!"
Mr. Moriarty. "WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS, IF I'VE GOT TO WAIT HERE TEN MINUTES, I'LL--I'LL BE OFF THIS BLESSED MOMENT!"]
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[Illustration: "SCENES IN THE LOBBY."
DESIGN FOR OUR OWN HISTORICAL PAINTER.]
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ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, March 6.--"The SPEAKER took the Chair at three o'clock." That is an extract from the Journals of the House, a fascinating literary work, ably edited by Mr. PALGRAVE with the assistance of Mr. MILMAN, much in favour at MUDIE'S. Last time I saw SPEAKER rise from Chair was Banquet at Mansion House given by way of farewell to M. WADDINGTON. Very remarkable scene it was. In ordinary times SPEAKER of House of Commons is personally unknown to outside public. He takes no part in debate; never goes on Midlothian Campaigns; belongs to no faction; has no political following; and should have no enemy. British public, regarding with close attention the fascinating arena at Westminster, have evidently formed clear opinion of its present President. When list of guests whom LORD MAYOR delighted to honour read out by Toastmaster, name of SPEAKER received with enthusiastic and prolonged applause. House of Commons men present, of whom there was large muster, evidently taken by surprise. They know the SPEAKER, because they daily live with him. How outside public should have been seized with such keen appreciation of his worth was more than they were prepared for.
This may have been, probably was, to some extent a succ��s d'estime. Mr. PEEL'S speech was genuine triumph; very brief, the shortest of the series, but incomparably the best; lofty in tone, perfect in delivery, saying just the right thing at the right moment in the right way. Its effect at Mansion House something like that which electrified House when Mr. PEEL, standing on steps of Chair, faced it for first time as its SPEAKER, revealing, even to those who had known him long, the full depths of his nature and the towering height of his capacity.
"Mon Dieu, TOBEE," said an eminent Frenchman, "the world in both hemispheres has always envied you the possession of your House of Commons. Now we know you have a Speaker worthy of its best traditions."
Banquet a great success; certainly the most