Punch, or The London Charivari | Page 7

jest about a few hours quiet refleckshun all to hisself without not nothink to disturb him; so I sent him to Marlow, gentlemanly Marlow, if you please, with a letter to my old friend BILL the Fisherman, and there, he told me arterwards, he had sich a luvly day of it as he never rememberd having afore. He sat for fours ours in a luvly Punt, in a bewtifool drizzlin rain, with lots of fish a biting away, but he was much too much engaged to pay the least atenshun to 'em, and there wasn't not noboddy to bother him; so he sat there, and thort out about the most himportentest ewent of his life; and when I waited upon him at the "Grand Hotel" arterwards, I don't think as I ewer seed a reel Gent, as he suttenly is, in such jolly good sperrits. So, seeing how werry successfool I had been, I wentured to say to him,--"And now, Sir, if you wants to see gentlemanly Marlow in quite another aspic, and one that estonishes and delites all as sees it, just take the 9:45 train from Paddington next Sunday, and, drectly you gets there, go at wunce to the Lock, and there, for ours and ours you will see sitch a sight of most ravishing bewty, combined with helegance and hart, as praps no other spot in all the hole world can show! Why, Sir," I said, "every time as the full Lock opens its yawning gates, at the command of one of the principel hofficers of the Tems Conserwancy, you will think of the Gates of Parrydice a hopening for a excurshun of hundreds of the most bewtifoollest Angels as ginerally lives there!" "Why, Mr. ROBERT," says the Amerrycain, "your henthusiasm xcites my curosity, and I'll suttenly go, and," he added, with almost a blushing smile, "I rayther thinks as I'll take a companion with me."
And off he went on the follering Sunday, and didn't git back till seven o'clock to dinner, and his fust words to me was,--"Mr. ROBERT, you didn't in the least xagerate the bewty of the scene as you sent me for to see--it was as strange and as lovely as a Faery Tail! I wasn't at all surprised to see what Swells there was among 'em, and what werry particklar attentions they paid to 'em, cos I reklek how My Lord RANGDULF CHURCHILL slected that particklar spot, on henny particklar fine Sunday, to seek that werry welcome and much wanted change from his sewere Parlementary dooties, as he used wen he were ere among us to rekquire, for I guess as there ain't sitch a sight to be seen not nowheres else so well calklated to brighten a pore feller up who's jest about done up with reel hard work." I didn't quite understand what made my Amerrycain smile quite so slily as he finished his rayther long speech, but he most certenly did, and then set to work at his dinner.
He arterwards told me as how as he means to pay a wisit, when the season begins, to our new Hotel at Monty Carlo, sumwheres in France, and try his new system at the Tables, and if he suckseeds, as he knows he shall, he will, praps, sum day tell me his secret, and then I shall have to ask my gentlemanly Manager here to let me have a few weeks there, and then I shan't want to do any more waiting! What a prospeck!
ROBERT.
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[Illustration: COUNTRY-HOUSE PETS.
_The Morning-Room at Glen-Dimity Castle, after Lunch. Mr. Belamy Tabby is singing "Hi tiddley hi ti, hi, ti, hi!_"
The Duchess. "HOW CLEVER AND AMUSIN' YOUR FRIEND, MR. WHATSHISNAME IS!--_TABBY_, ISN'T IT? SO GOOD-LOOKIN' AND GENTLEMANLIKE TOO! QUITE A GODSEND ON A RAINY DAY LIKE THIS, WHEN ALL THE MEN ARE OUT SHOOTIN' OR FISHIN', OR SOMETHING! IS HE MARRIED?"
Noble Hostess. "OH YES; BUT WHAT'S SO NICE ABOUT HIM, HE DOESN'T MIND BEIN' ASKED WITHOUT HIS WIFE. THOSE SORT OF PERSONS SO OFTEN EXPECT THEIR WIVES TO BE ASKED TOO, AND THAT'S SUCH A BORE, YOU KNOW!"
Her Grace. "YES; HOW SENSIBLE OF HIM! I MUST GET HIM TO COME TO US AT BRASENOSE TOWERS!"]
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THE CANADIAN "SEARCH-LIGHT."
(A SONG OF SINCERE SYMPATHY.)
AIR--"THE SLAVE IN THE DISMAL SWAMP."
In dark fens of the Dismal Swamp The Search-Light sends its ray! What is that hideous oozy tramp? What creatures crawling 'midst jungle damp Scuttle from light away?
Revealing radiance shine, oh shine, Through black bayou and brake, Where knotted parasites intertwine, And through the tangles of poisonous vine Glideth the spotted snake.
Where hardly a human foot would pass, Or an honest heart would dare The quaking mud of the foul morass, With rank weed choked, and with clotted grass, Fit for a reptile's lair.
They